And I wasn't actually talking about an invasion of privacy. I meant that a person who doesn't want to socialize isn't going to post a pic of themselves, because, why would they? It's not 100%, but it's still a pretty big message.
What it's really like being a female chess player.
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trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
On the other hand, if a person posts a selfie on facebook, you probably know next to nothing about them. They could be social or not very social, as it's just common in general for selfies to be posted there -- that's what the site is for, stuff like that. But when you take an intellectual game like chess and post a selfie, you are socializing it, you're going out of your way to do so. That's perfectly fine, I just think that if you do that, you should admit it.
No no no no no. You're not making any sense here. You've lost me completely
Well, I don't know... I mean if at a philosophy convention someone started rambling about the party he had last night for 10 minutes, that would be stranger than if he told a story like that in a totally different setting.
What is so unsensible about the fact that a setting like facebook is different from chess.com, and that you'd expect different behaviors from each?
Geez, do you want to actually discuss or do you want to just say I don't make sense?
0110001101101000 wrote:
I think the following would be fine:
Woman posts picture
Guy messages "you like nice"
Woman responds "Don't talk to me creep"
Then guy never messages back.
To me I think you'd have to add a few more lines. If he continues to message, and she doesn't want a conversation, then, ok. But "you look nice" is almost a more polite way of saying "hi." Don't women say to each other "you have nice hair" all the time? That kind of politeness I would think is a good thing.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1485
Elubas wrote:
"And certainly, if someone posts a picture of themselves it is not necessarily a "message" or invitation to socialize. There is just not enough information to form those opinions."
I think it's a pretty good amount of information, actually. How about you? Could you even imagine posting a pic of yourself? Would you find anything to gain from that? You probably don't have a desire to get more personal with people, to share a part of your life with people. But you're saying that maybe your mood will suddenly change and you'll just want to post a pic? It's that simple? You'll have the same old attitudes as before, but suddenly just want to post a pic. That's hard for me to believe.
The thing about you, trysts, is that you have no desire to meet men, and I actually believe you. You actually act like it, very consistently. You act as you say you do.
I don't post pictures of myself because I was threatened. I would still be the same if I posted selfies. I would still remain pretty private. I wouldn't have minded posting pictures of myself if it weren't for that. And I know that a picture of myself says a lot less about me in comparison with the avatars I choose. There's just no information about character from a snapshot. It's unreliable.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1486
0110001101101000 wrote:
I think the following would be fine:
Woman posts picture
Guy messages "you like nice"
Woman responds "Don't talk to me creep"
Then guy never messages back.
Lol There are better ways to handle that from both ends
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
"And certainly, if someone posts a picture of themselves it is not necessarily a "message" or invitation to socialize. There is just not enough information to form those opinions."
I think it's a pretty good amount of information, actually. How about you? Could you even imagine posting a pic of yourself? Would you find anything to gain from that? You probably don't have a desire to get more personal with people, to share a part of your life with people. But you're saying that maybe your mood will suddenly change and you'll just want to post a pic? It's that simple? You'll have the same old attitudes as before, but suddenly just want to post a pic. That's hard for me to believe.
The thing about you, trysts, is that you have no desire to meet men, and I actually believe you. You actually act like it, very consistently. You act as you say you do.
I don't post pictures of myself because I was threatened. I would still be the same if I posted selfies. I would still remain pretty private. I wouldn't have minded posting pictures of myself if it weren't for that. And I know that a picture of myself says a lot less about me in comparison with the avatars I choose. There's just no information about character from a snapshot. It's unreliable.
Why would you want to post a picture of yourself in the first place? If you answer that, I would probably understand your points a lot better.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1488
Ok, so as a writer my dialogue is terrible lol.
I just mean, sending messages seems fine as long as there's no harassment.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1489
Elubas wrote:
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
trysts wrote:
I don't get much of a message about a person from a selfie. A painting, yes. A snapshot? Not enough information to form any opinion on the person. One can be too easily deceived.
Well, we disagree here, then. Again, it's not about the content of the selfie, it's the lack of privacy of the selfie. A private person is (very) likely not going to post something that identifies them like that.
No no no. A person's privacy should be assumed and respected no matter if they post a selfie or not.
Well what are you considering privacy, exactly? Would you consider a note saying "hi" an invasion of privacy? Even if someone says hi on my note wall here, I most certainly would not consider it to be that. So it depends on how extreme you're talking.
But yeah, again, we sometimes have to function on messages sent, especially obvious ones.
No, a simple greeting is not an invasion of privacy, you know that. But if you do get a rude response to a simple greeting then maybe it will disarm you of the idea that you get reliable information from a selfie
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1490
Elubas wrote:
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
"And certainly, if someone posts a picture of themselves it is not necessarily a "message" or invitation to socialize. There is just not enough information to form those opinions."
I think it's a pretty good amount of information, actually. How about you? Could you even imagine posting a pic of yourself? Would you find anything to gain from that? You probably don't have a desire to get more personal with people, to share a part of your life with people. But you're saying that maybe your mood will suddenly change and you'll just want to post a pic? It's that simple? You'll have the same old attitudes as before, but suddenly just want to post a pic. That's hard for me to believe.
The thing about you, trysts, is that you have no desire to meet men, and I actually believe you. You actually act like it, very consistently. You act as you say you do.
I don't post pictures of myself because I was threatened. I would still be the same if I posted selfies. I would still remain pretty private. I wouldn't have minded posting pictures of myself if it weren't for that. And I know that a picture of myself says a lot less about me in comparison with the avatars I choose. There's just no information about character from a snapshot. It's unreliable.
Why would you want to post a picture of yourself in the first place? If you answer that, I would probably understand your points a lot better.
Because it would just be me. Here I am.
Well there are two big reasons a person might do a selfie: either they are friendly, or it's for their ego; they're proud of it. Or it could be both. The rude responses would fall into the latter category.
I don't know, maybe there are others, but it's hard to think of many, and you know how much of an ass I am about considering possibilities. Well, go ahead, give me other reasons why a person would post a selfie to chess.com. Maybe you have some good ones.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1492
I think the whole picture thing is less direct than saying sending a message is fine as long as the person is reasonable (no harassment, no rudeness).
And I mean come on, if you happen to be good looking, you know for a fact that some people will look at you and find you attractive, whether they talk to you or not. How does that not make you happy? How does that not become a positive motivator to post a pic?
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1494
Elubas wrote:
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
On the other hand, if a person posts a selfie on facebook, you probably know next to nothing about them. They could be social or not very social, as it's just common in general for selfies to be posted there -- that's what the site is for, stuff like that. But when you take an intellectual game like chess and post a selfie, you are socializing it, you're going out of your way to do so. That's perfectly fine, I just think that if you do that, you should admit it.
No no no no no. You're not making any sense here. You've lost me completely
Well, I don't know... I mean if at a philosophy convention someone started rambling about the party he had last night for 10 minutes, that would be stranger than if he told a story like that in a totally different setting.
What is so unsensible about the fact that a setting like facebook is different from chess.com, and that you'd expect different behaviors from each?
Geez, do you want to actually discuss or do you want to just say I don't make sense?
I want you to get real. You act like Chess.com is above Facebook!? Are you kidding me? Have you read the forums this year?
0110001101101000 wrote:
I think the whole picture thing is less direct than saying sending a message is fine as long as the person is reasonable (no harassment, no rudeness).
Agreed. I think there are some people out there who are just looking for an excuse to tell a man they are oppressing a woman. Like if a man says hi to them, they're thinking "yes, now I have a chance to make it look like I'm being abused, I'll go tell him that right now."
So, women, just don't be like that. And I'm with you.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1496
Yeah, society is really dumb sometimes. Luckily relationships happen between two individuals.
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
trysts wrote:
Elubas wrote:
On the other hand, if a person posts a selfie on facebook, you probably know next to nothing about them. They could be social or not very social, as it's just common in general for selfies to be posted there -- that's what the site is for, stuff like that. But when you take an intellectual game like chess and post a selfie, you are socializing it, you're going out of your way to do so. That's perfectly fine, I just think that if you do that, you should admit it.
No no no no no. You're not making any sense here. You've lost me completely
Well, I don't know... I mean if at a philosophy convention someone started rambling about the party he had last night for 10 minutes, that would be stranger than if he told a story like that in a totally different setting.
What is so unsensible about the fact that a setting like facebook is different from chess.com, and that you'd expect different behaviors from each?
Geez, do you want to actually discuss or do you want to just say I don't make sense?
I want you to get real. You act like Chess.com is above Facebook!? Are you kidding me? Have you read the forums this year?
This isn't "ranking" anything. I'm saying that, it is weirder for a person to act on chess.com the way they act on facebook, depending on what it is.
A person who says to themselves, "I want to post all these cool pictures, I wonder where I should do it?" and then decides that chess.com makes more sense than facebook... like who would do that? That is one weird person. It's like using chess.com to date instead of a dating website. Who would think that chess.com would be a more fruitful option?
So of course, a person could act in a way that's considered strange one place, and normal in another place.
Jun 13, 2016
0
#1498
Elubas, you have this thing about pictures. I get that some people are really vain--a lot of guys are really vain too. But I don't really think about that stuff, so I'll have to exit this part of your focus
Anyway, it's not just the pictures, of course. Obviously if a person just acted like a complete and utter nerd, but had a picture up, I wouldn't think they weren't a nerd. It's just a fairly big initial indicator. The poster of this thread, doesn't seem serious and it's not just because of her picture, even though it doesn't help. It's also her posting style and how she acts. And again, in those regards, she does not act like you, trysts. I actually think that you are sincere in what you discuss, because you act like it.
I think the following would be fine:
Woman posts picture
Guy messages "you like nice"
Woman responds "Don't talk to me creep"
Then guy never messages back.