What the **** Is WRONG with me?
2. I don't know. Just keep practising, I guess.

If you expect answers like "Oh don't worry. It is normal to have bad periods, soon you will recover and play as good as you were playing before. Take time to relax and yadda yadda" others will give it to you.
I will only say that you have no reason at all to have more than 1 account here.
And about your "problem"...fix it or get over it. As simple as that.

how many plates do you want to juggle before you admit you need to do the washing up ?
close down all but one account , if you lose on that well consider it a chess lesson

Are all those accounts using v3?
I bet those are also inflating Erik's accounting of how many users are happy with v3...

And why are multiple accounts such a crime, one can have other family members also playing in here.
@UsingBlindfoldOption, as to your question - either you woke up to a small brain damage, or you started reading too much theory :)

From Chess.com on multiple accounts:
Can I have multiple accounts?
No, not only do we not allow the use of multiple accounts; we also consider it a form of cheating.
Please restrict yourself to a single Chess.com account, and avoid all suspicion!
Also, if it's just a new username you are after, please see here.
Here's the link: https://support.chess.com/customer/portal/articles/1444776-can-i-have-multiple-accounts-

Still no logical arguements why multiple accounts are form of cheating. I meet obvious cheating accounts, existing from months, with 100% wins on blitz/bullet. Ridiculous

Tbh I would like another account myself, as all my clubmates are currently using my online stuff to prepare nasty suprises otb, but it does say on rules only one account

You are allowed to have family members playing but should notify chess.com so you will not be banned for multiple accounts. Note, you are not allowed to play games against family members who used the same IP (same computer or network) to access chess.com.
Many have done rating manipulations by playing against their other accounts. Other again, have used their other accounts to access vote chess from the other side or groups they had been banned from.

scenario a , bob makes two accounts , bob and rob , bob plays rob , rob always loses , bob becomes a gm , rob is a patzer , bob and rob are taking the proverbial , both grades have not been gained properly

Multiple accounts for one user is not allowed. Family members using the same computer with their own different account is allowed.
Can I share computers with another member?
Yes!
Family, siblings, friends etc are all allowed to play here from the same computer (and ip address)
as long as the following two simple rules are followed;
1. Each person playing here 'Must' have and use their own account (no account sharing)
2. All games played between people logging in from the same computer 'Must' be unrated games
https://support.chess.com/customer/en/portal/articles/1444969-can-i-share-computers-with-another-member-