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hahaha..nyc one Sangwin.....
Superglue all his pieces except his knight to the board.
We have the same avatar.
1. g4 e5 2. f3 Qh4 ++ Pretty sure you won't find a faster checkmate than that 2 mover. Of course you didn't say "checkmate"; you said "win a chess game". So I suppose even faster would be to have your opponent instantly resign!