Uncle Jalavan.
Who is the Most Talked/Written About Chess Player...

of all time? Why do you think they are?

The latest or most colorful World Champs, after Sofia Vergara, who got paid more for the episode of Modern Family where she beat Jay in chess ("Checkmate in two moves!") than the top 10 Grandmasters combined earn in a year:

Wonder if she plays the Twin Peaks Gambit.
I'd have to go with Bobby Fischer as the most talked about. Morphy and Tal up there too.

The latest or most colorful World Champs, after Sofia Vergara, who got paid more for the episode of Modern Family where she beat Jay in chess ("Checkmate in two moves!") than the top 10 Grandmasters combined earn in a year:
I had to Google it just to find out if "Checkmate in two moves" is even possible. It is. As to the income disparity... well lets just hope the GM's here don't read the forums.

He helps open doors?

Probably Kasparov, given how active he has been in fields outside of chess. But it could also be Fischer. I would be very surprised if it's anyone other than these two though.

As i've revealed in the duck resurrection thread, karpov was the first chess champ to take oral hygiene seriously. So yes, karpov.

Toss up.
Candidates, and I deliberately do not order them publicly, but I have a strong opinion.
Fischer
Morphy
Kasparov
Tal
Carlsen
Capablanca
Alekhin
Lasker
Tarrasch
Philidor
Ruy Lopez
Karpov
Ostap Bender
Nimzovich
of all time? Why do you think they are?