The reason that women don't play chess as much is that their egos are not precariously balanced on their competitive wins over others. Men play chess like rats pushing a food lever, because it feeds their ego.
"I'm winning, ergo I must be okay after all because these other people suck more than I do."
Women, on average, seem to innately realize that chess is, ultimately, a complete waste of time. Which it is.
This is the same phenom as men watching sports, which is a beta-male behavior which allows men with low confidence/self-esteem to group up together and hoot and holler, and to identify with alpha males and associate themselves with their achievements. Watch a pack of baboons some time and see the beta males cheering from a distance when two alpha males fight...same exact thing.
So, generally speaking, women not playing chess is not a failing of women, it is a failing of men that so many men fritter their productive time away on a game that doesn't produce anything.
But you're basing this on anecdotes and speculation, just like most people when debating on this issue, right?
More generally, any zero-sum game or sport can reasonably be considered war-like.
This really has NOTHING to do with what I've said. "War-like"? No. Chess is not limited to "war-like". Can basketball be "war-like"? Yes. But, chess is almost COMPLETELY 'based on' war, basketball is not.
For me I just don't really think of war when it comes to chess. I might acknowledge that "it uses war as a template" occasionally but really never anything much beyond that. I just think of chess as something very competitive; for me the war analogies pretty much end there.