I understand your frustration. I have experienced the same type of frustration on this site. There was one time that I played a guy rated 2100+. I was playing him well in the opening and middlegame. As we approached the endgame, I felt good about my chances, but in order for me to win the game, I could not make a single mistake. Guess what? I lost the game, not because I made a mistake in the endgame, but two or three slight errors in the middlegame. I was so disappointed with myself that I considered quitting chess all together.
But then I happenned to accept a challenge from this teenager who played well. I enjoyed the game so much that we became friends (Nimzo33). He inspired me to remember why I play chess - for the love of the game.
I began to learn things piecemeal, like I was a newbie all over again. I began to notice certain similarities in matches between top rated players. I began to notice that the good players play for the endgame from the beginning, and they only strike when something is obvious. I began to look for opportunities to implement what little I've learned, and whether I win or lose, I just wanted to see if I could achieve the endgames that I wanted and go from there. I gave up on most of the gambits; the top players rarely play them against each other. I began to study the boring stuff like pawn structure and opposition. Now that boring stuff is exciting. But the thing that I do now that most keeps me going is imparting what little I've learned to someone else.
Might I suggest that you find a person who wants to learn how to play chess, someone who doesn't even know how the pieces move (uh hem...your children). As you are teaching, you will be forced to go over the fundamentals. This will also reinforce what you know. I bet that you will be surprised at how much you know already. And enjoy yourself!
Why can't I be patient and learn from my mistakes? I do wonderful for a few games and then I lapse into my old silly self. I know looking back at the games I lost, what I did wrong. But I seem unable to alter the course of my current games. I love playing this game, but I can't seem to get my head fully around the nuances. I would love to just not make the mistake that gives the game away, but be able to salvage the mistake. But I seem to lose a great deal of confidence when I blunder. I am trying to study my games, tactics, etc. But I seem to just tread water, not really improving. I just reached 1100 for a couple of days, which I am proud of. But you would think after the amount of games I have played my rating would be a little better. Don't get me wrong I am not whining, just venting some frustration, I know I am ultimately to blame. I am thinking about starting a group that matches lower rated players wit higher rated players. The higher rated players would then metor a lower rated player exclusively for a period of time. Act as a sounding board, a place for ideas, puzzles, etc. I am going to see what kind of response I get from this post as to what direction the group will go. Thank you for reading and posting your thoughts.