why do i suck



Please, take some time to read those 3 articles, written by good Jengaias. Those helped me a lot.
https://www.chess.com/blog/jengaias/for-beginners-develop-a-thinking-process
I know I am not the best person to help you, as my rating is low, but I would have some advices that I saw some advices given by highest rated people, that I can repeat to you. Try to avoid bullet and blitz games, as those does not help your improvement very much. After each game, take some time to replay them by yourselves and try to spot your own mistakes, and what you could do to avoid them (analisys). Playing chess over the board (OTB) is also helpful, mainly if you are in clubs, where you can share information and knowledge with other players. Don't focus too much in openings for now. Try to study tactics and endgames first.
I hope I could help. Let's see what other people say to you.

so first thought is that the first two posters play blitz, which is generally not instructive.
oc, there's no magic that says if you play rapid games you'll magically break though your limitations. but if you refuse to play longer games, you need not ask why you are having problems understanding your weaknesses.
from there, we can dispense the normal advise...
* know you tactics cold
*know your basic endgames
* study your games, espacially you losses for moves you should have made
* learn how to analyze games and practice doing it better
* OTB club play is great
* play stronger players and ask them for hints and advice in your game
* know the idea behind the opening and don't just memorize variations.....
