Why i think chess is an art, but a terrible kind of it

If it no longer inspires any enthusiasm in me, i must at least admit that the game of chess must have some value by the longevity of its practice, and by the way it has been, in the exact way it is played today, enjoyed by both the soviets and the Arab caliphates, both the french aristocracy and the old retired men at eastern european parks.

My chess history is the following: I saw my sister playing it on the computer and I was jealous that I didn’t even knew how to move the pieces in such an elegant game. I was also inspired by the beauty I saw in the film The Seventh Seal, by Bergman, which presented chess not as an intellectual game, but a game for unhinged souls. So at the age of fourteen, which is quite an old age to become a chess player, I took the game to study through YouTube videos and dedicated a whole year of my young age, which is the most decisive time to build a sharp mind, to study and improve my understanding of the game.

I got kind of good. I have a regular blitz rating of 1900 on chess.com, and I peaked 2000. That’s very good for someone who played seriously for a year and a half, and especially for a player who started at a very old age (a chess player to become really good should start at the very least at 8 years old. It is common sense that kids do better than adults when learning languages at that age, and this is also true about chess). But even though I was kind of good, I started to dislike the game. First, I always knew that I spent far too much time learning something that wouldn’t help me in any way: it is like any other game, with the difference that it has bit more prestige. The structure is the same: you play, you get better, every new game has a dopamine rush, you play again, and how good you will get will depend on how addicted you are to it. But you are never good enough: it is virtually impossible for someone who started at the age of fourteen to become as good as a grandmaster.

It did not frustrate me that I would never be among the very best, I never had that pretension. I just liked the game and I just liked playing. But then, it started getting on my mind how I was spending my strongest and sharpest neurons on that. What other incredible things could I have learned, if only I had dedicated this time to the three dimensional, emotional, complex real world, instead of a sixty-four-squared ludicrous and geometrical one? And then I remembered some dreams I had when I was at the peak of my obsession. I would dream of chess positions, like I was imprisoned, and I couldn’t think of the real world and of real colors, and that would truly upset me. Sometimes, like a chain smoker, I would wake up in the middle of the night and play a game to calm my nerves. They quivered for it.

When i remember of this dreams, it is impossible for me not to think of chess as an addiction. It might be just comfortable for our brains to be far from the frustrating real life, it just wants a place where it has control and where its thorough effort always has an effect. It is becoming a demigod, it is being able to turn thoughts into force. I think that’s why deeply isolated guys like me are drawn to it; we become Achilles, our wrath is the center of the world. Chess plays with our wish to destroy and to be strong. Of course, it is a game about war. I would say it is the most significant human monument about war, second only to the Iliad. But different from the Iliad, it is all black and white: there is not a trace of love, not a trace of originality, it is just winning and not losing, making the right move and not the wrong one.

So pathetic, I came to think, that a nerdy guy imagines himself as an irredeemable force because he knows where to put a tiny wooden horse. And that makes me understand why many consider chess to be an art: it fools us the same way.

(this was published on my Medium, https://medium.com/@LinhasImemoraveis, which i just started. I would love to see opinions of fellow players on the subject!) 

tbh i agree with Surtrd over here, chess is supposed to be a game for fun, to play with friends. all the ratings tho cause a competition between players and that can be bad. i honestly just love going on variants and making insane boards. i agree that chess can kinda be addictive but its just important to let it go and just have fun.

Perhaps chess does not drastically affect our daily lives. There are many things that people enjoy that do not help them in any way. For example, I do archery. I will never seriously use a bow in my entire life. I am not good enough to become anywhere close to a serious competitor.

I listen to music in my earbuds, which isn't really healthy for my ears. I'm not a musician, and probably won't ever be.

My chess improvement is similar to yours. My parents would often let it be known (constantly) that if only I "applied myself" to other, more useful subjects, etc etc... But chess is fun. If you asked me to explain why I could not tell you (the cynical answer I give is "because i am good at it").

But I do it regardless, because we as humans are irrational creatures. 

wrong

chess can help you think ahead, something i struggle with

Long ago I came to the conclusion that chess was really good for young people (helps learn planning, logic, etc.), and for old people (keep the mind sharp).  So I quit playing.  But now that I'm old, I've taken it up again.

why would you quit in the first place if you knew that?