why is chess destroying my life

why is chess destroying my life i can't stop playing i need the validation and the rush but i feel so patheric when i lose all the time and i feel so helpless to stop because i know i am better than my losses and i have to play gain and i lose again because i am such a moron and useless worthless human being with no friends and no one to love or be loved by my only companion is chess but it is also destroying me and i am helpless to prevent it 

Wow you lost 3 games in a row. No wonder you have no friends

yes I am thinking of ending my life thanks for helping me decide

It seems you're more looking for a connection, chess is more of a lonely game. For example I play volleyball where one can much more easily connect and make friends.

You could also play daily/correspondence chess, there you can actually have a chat with people. It's also not just playing for "the rush" which is just an addiction in the end.

Why not? Once I wanted to end myself over a soup. Don't judge

actually decide to live I found Gottfried94s Mum is a good root

Chess makes me an overthinker

Chess didn't help me get better with anything, but I like to just play chess and enjoy the adventure. Also trying to have a laugh while playing, for example: pushing the bishop one square above the knight: Look the horse is wearing a hat now! Or pushing the pawn one square below the opponent's king: Interview! The pawn looks like a microphone interviewing the kind / king. XD

Also once I had a "pawn cactus", means I had 3 pawns in a row on the d-file. XD

That way it takes away the pressure and you can have fun playing! Also it helps finding losing sexy when you give everything but the opp. is too strong, and it's helpful not to resign early but to let the opponent checkmate you!

Also like I an doing it: Don'T set yourself goals! You don't need to get anywhere elo-wise. That way no expectation or pressure can distract you.

chess is addictive !!

The bunny suggests that you take a walk

You've played 265 games in 5 years

I played 265 games in a day once

If chess is destroying your life then mine might already be destroyed 😭

gng bro just quit like if you arent gonna be a pro just quit and if you wanna continue set yourself a 1h time on chess apps and NEVER go past it. I am not too got either. Like on m lichess account I am max 1800 and i dont think i am getting past that. Focus on school or work(depends what you have). Maybe start playing a team sport or try getting a gf or bf.

Negative energy makes you loose your chess games. If you loose a bunch of games, you might be tilting. Your rating is a reflection of your recent chess performance, not your actual strength. If you perform under a lot of pressure and stress, your performance will automatically decrease.

Your goal should be to have fun, not to win.

Validation and improvement comes slowly, if anyone could suddenly be good at this game then why are there less grandmasters than billionaires?

You still with us? Just curious if you went through with it.

Inb4thelock

maybe because only 600 million people in the world play chess (which is like % of the global population) and like from those 600 million people only million are FIDE registered? And from million maybe not all of them wanna play professionally and just wanna play in some tournaments? But everyone is interested in money. There are around 2100 gms and exactly 3248 billionaires. So like only % of FIDE players become gms which is still very low. But from the global population % become billionaires. Like it is clearly much harder to be a billionaire. And now imagine if everyone in the world was FIDE registered there would be like 2 million gms if we keep the same rate(%). so it is like 2 million gms vs 3428 billionaires. So it aint such a flex that there are less gms than billionaires bcs very few people play chess. DON'T TAKE THE CREDITS FROM BILLIONAIRES

If you want to get positive vibes from chess, take a break from playing. Take a month or two off. And use that time productively. Read several instruction books. Analyze your games, trying to see how the lessons learned might apply. Watch some commentary on a major tournament, where the analysts discuss how GMs form and carry out plans.

When you return to play, stick to slower time controls. Analyze your games, especially your losses. Do not grind game after game mindlessly. Do not start a new game until you understand why you lost the previous one.

these are very basic tips. If you actually follow them, you are sure to improve your play.

one thing is certain. What you have done for two years does not work. So you need to do something different.