FREE - In Google Play
FREE - in Win Phone Store
play 1.Nf3 then say "no I want to play d4" then your opponent says "touch and move!" then slap him on his face and play nf3 and d4 both
Get over it. We don't judge you for doing that.
Try to make a date with him or her. Seriously, please don't.
passing liquids or solids is pretty bad too...