I play OTB at my local chess club, and its not like that at all. I had time (no pun intended) to get used to the clocks and writing my own (inaccurate!) notation, before playing in league matches. No one smokes. We have junior players at the club who are helped as best as we can (being working on endgames with them) after a game it can be played through the notation to check the notation is accurate and to explain our thinking in our moves (for all members, adults and juniors.) We chat in between matches, often having cups of tea, and biscuits! I will point you to my blog for more on this subject! http://blog.chess.com/blowerd/playing-otb-at-my-local-club
You make me jealous! Maybe the fact that the Australian chess scene seems to lack a club like yours shows how hopeless it is here. Another thing that I have never liked about otb chess is ethnic cliqueism such as clubs like "Serbian knights" or "Russians for mate" or whatever. I just want to play. If I want political cliques I will get a MA in politics or work for ASIO...lol.
There were many other bad aspects that I didn't mention in the OP. Once when I was 12 I lost a game to some guy and he verbally abused me with every swearword that you can think of - I couldn't print what he said in this forum. It was EVERY swearword that has ever been in the English language - "you are a %^$&er and a %^$#er for about a minute. " When you are 12 you know and an adult who's at least 40 does that it really is a shock.
I don't know. Maybe I have been very, very unlucky.
But I hope that you enjoy your otb chess. I did not start this thread to make anyone feel worse for their enjoyment of playing otb.
Then I have had some weird experiences. This one takes the cake.
Once I was at a otb chess club and I am a bit of a chess historian..well you know sort of... so we start talking about lesser known chess players like Przpiorka and I mention that the Nazis murdered many great chess players.
Next thing this guy who is at least 60 pulls out a book that's all in German and it's full of chess problems. He opens it. There is an intro by the German Nazi minister for Chess and it's problems are set for SS men!! I was just speechless. I was going to ask "where did you get that from?" and then I thought "on second thoughts I really don't want to ask that!!!"
I have had some bizarre encounters in chess. No doubt about it. If I were a Nazi war-criminal hunter chess clubs would be my FIRST place of investigation!!! I'd mingle and I'd drop hints that I liked Nazi culture etc [which of course I don't] and I reckon - seriously - that I'd get some dice.
There are those of us who enjoy sparring within chess without investing study time required to advance into 1600+. I view the game as a mental excercise like push-ups in a physical sense or an escape from other daily realities.