wouldn't play otb chess if you paid me

There are those of us who enjoy sparring within chess without investing  study time required to advance into 1600+. I view the game as a mental excercise like push-ups in a physical sense or an escape from other daily realities.

You make me jealous! Maybe the fact that the Australian chess scene seems to lack a club like yours shows how hopeless it is here. Another thing that I have never liked about otb chess is ethnic cliqueism such as clubs like "Serbian knights" or "Russians for mate" or whatever. I just want to play. If I want political cliques I will get a MA in politics or work for ASIO...lol.

There were many other bad aspects that I didn't mention in the OP. Once when I was 12 I lost a game to some guy and he verbally abused me with every swearword that you can think of - I couldn't print what he said in this forum. It was EVERY swearword that has ever been in the English language - "you are a %^$&er and a %^$#er for about a minute. " When you are 12 you know and an adult who's at least 40 does that it really is a shock.

I don't know. Maybe I have been very, very unlucky.

But I hope that you enjoy your otb chess. I did not start this thread to make anyone feel worse for their enjoyment of playing otb.

Then I have had some weird experiences. This one takes the cake.

Once I was at a otb chess club and I am a bit of a chess historian..well you know sort of... so we start talking about lesser known chess players like Przpiorka and I mention that the Nazis murdered many great chess players.

Next thing this guy who is at least 60 pulls out a book that's all in German and it's full of chess problems. He opens it. There is an intro by the German Nazi minister for Chess and it's problems are set for SS men!! I was just speechless. I was going to ask "where did you get that from?" and then I thought "on second thoughts I really don't want to ask that!!!"

I have had some bizarre encounters in chess. No doubt about it. If I were a Nazi war-criminal hunter chess clubs would be my FIRST place of investigation!!! I'd mingle and I'd drop hints that I liked Nazi culture etc [which of course I don't] and I reckon - seriously - that I'd get some dice.

There is a total difference between having a whine and describing incidents of being assaulted by other players' cigar smoke. I have been a non-smoker for my entire 37 years. I didn't decide or control that people would behave in ways that were so anti-social and callous.

p.s if "real chess" is "otb" then whatthe heck are you doing on this site? Huh? Answer that one smarty? Sometimes my first year philosophy lectures where I was taught the difference between a sound and unsound argument tend to prove useful...

That's no reason not to play now since smoking is most likely banned in every club.

Just look at the 2 most famous/known chess players, Kasparov and Fischer. You can see they are assholes. I bet they didn't use dirty tricks simply because they had so much to lose if there were to be consequences.

Chess players in general are the worst nerds you can find installed with a huge ego. A disaster.

Thats quite a valid comment in my case, because interestingly I am a nerd with a large ego.. how did he know that...??

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, but regarding "blaming everything but myself", these snippets from OP's fics finger notes are too darned tempting and on topic :p

 4: I try not to give my queen away! But if someone walks in the door or the
\   TV is too loud I might.

 9: I've often considered giving up chess because the noise in my house is at
\   times so loud. But I have had too many wins against 1900-2000 rated
\   players to give up..
10: My rating will always be stuck at 1700ish. That's because I compete
\   against TV noise and interruptions. I should be 1800ish at least. But I
\   don't have a place auitable for chess. Sigh.

This might be my meanest post to date/Troll heinzie

yeah. some people do all sorts of things to eff things up for you and tilt everything in their favor. they do everything possible to inject "bullshit factors" into the game. the people who are really good at this, do it in such way where it isn't blatantly obvious but still damn effective. they'll have some kind of plausible deniability. afterwards they deny anything shady was going on, acting all shocked ( "why little ole me? well I never!"). god forbid things go down under normal, fair conditions and circumstances where all is even like in real tournaments. can't have that now, someone special might lose.

True Omertatao, then they boast about their skill and achievements when their real skill is in BS.

Can a moderator please lock this topic to end it? This thread has become polluted by too many dickheads.

Sad really. Could have been a mature discussion about something important.

Please be relevant, helpful & nice!

The OP story brings back memories of before every tournament was No Smoking.

As a teenager, I played this one old duff in the late 1970s who was smoking cigars--the cigarette smoke was bad enough, but I have always hated cigars--and I had to play through this cloud of noxious smoke and try to concentrate. I knew he was trying to poison me with his stinkbomb cloud, but I played on and won what had to be one of the worst games ever. 

If people enjoy playing chess, then the format of that playing is not all that important as long as you are enjoying the activity.

From the OP:

p.s if "real chess" is "otb" then whatthe heck are you doing on this site? Huh? Answer that one smarty? Sometimes my first year philosophy lectures where I was taught the difference between a sound and unsound argument tend to prove useful...

Do you see me playing here, dummy?

Although I do not have to explain myself to you, there are good training resources here. Plus I get to learn from some great players, and I get to argue with dips like you.

I have never played a game online and probably never will. There are too many phony chess players who use a database, analysis boards and other methods while playing...not to mention the down right cheaters who use an engine.

Not only these, but the man-to-man combat, eyeball-to-eyeball...and all the human interaction therein, can't be duplicated on the net.

So there...you suckee cheeseplayer, you. 

Perhaps for practice?

Conflagration_Planet: Perhaps for practice?

Yes, but not by playing for reasons stated. I will not play someone, anonymously, through a keyboard.

I do get plenty of practice with the tactics trainer and computer opponent, here and elsewhere.

Look...I'm not denying anybody anything. This is just my own opinion and preference.

I only posted here because the OP was whining about the godawfulness of real chess OTB.

Reb has stated that he reverted back to OTB only, as well. Same reasons.

If I was really into chess, and could play worth a crap, I would OTB would be funner too.

Good for you!

I love taking my set to a local coffee shop and playing the patzers. They think I'm a GM, because I can reconstruct the game from memory.

I recall how Bobby said he likes to see his opponent's ego shattered. Magnus has said the same thing.

This sounds cruel. I, personally, would say something like "I like to see them squirm" (when I am winning). This is tame, in comparison...but then, I am not a world class chess player/competitor.

Although I am not a masochist, I do find it amusing when I am winning and my opponent starts developing a twitch.

And I HATE IT when I am losing and my heart rate goes up 20 points and my adrenalin is flowing to the max and my hair feels like it wants to stand upright and I am battling to the death!

This is why...IMHO...OTB chess is fun. 

I thought the goal was to get the biggest 4 digit number next to your name.