1) you should add your friend to your friend's list in chess.com.
http://support.chess.com/Knowledgebase/Article/View/145/0/how-do-i-send-a-friend-request
2) Then you should go into Live Chess, make sure both of you are online and logged into Live Chess and challenge your friend with the custom time controls you want. Read "Challenging a Friend (Live Chess)":
http://support.chess.com/Knowledgebase/Article/View/127/0/how-do-i-challenge-a-friend-to-play
How is it possible to challenge a friend in a game where each player has only five or ten minutes altogether? I only find it possible to challenge a specific person in a game where one have one or more days per move.
Does anyone know?