I know what you mean. I think you can change your alerts though which might help.
MESSAGES!!

i get so few messages. of course, i'm also not involved in that many groups :) but you can tune the messages to be whatever you want.

I wish there was a feture that let you get all group messages EXCEPT for team matches and vote chess games.

You are so right!!!! I didn't get on chess.com for 5 days, and I got 21 alerts, saying that a new vote chess game started

21 that is nuthing i went off for at least 1 day and i had 49
i get over 50 daily or more i just stoped reading them i have 300 unread messeges
The amount of messages I get is crazy!! I get so alerts from chess.com saying that a new vote chess started!! Its crazy I went to my cousins house for a couple of days and when I came back I had over 100 new messages!!