RUDE & ARROGANT

just ignore and play your game. disable chat if necessary.

Hooah!  As an infantry man in the US Army and a well-trained martial artist I can tell you that war and any genuine fighting is hell.  Anyone who thinks hurting people is fun is without a soul.  Sometimes it has to be done, but its the guy who pops off with "sucker" and such who usually needs the comeupance rather than the gentleman who has see that little boy for what he is.  As Plato said we should be kind since everyone is fighting their own battles inside, but that doesn't also mean that the bigger man has to put up with whatever lesser men through at him, or have some sort of mystical "thick skin".  If you are offended it isn't necessarily and arbitrary decision to be that way but it has to do with being caught off guard by just how petty another hominid turned out to be.  Human beings are in fact massively underevolved beings who are being consistently abused on a metaphysical level by a demonic being who thinks he's God and the only way we can get out of this mess is by standing up for ourselves and at the same time not sinking down to this "demiurge's" level by hating it and its minions. Those minions are "the arrogant" who think they have some special privelige to piss on others whenever the chance arises.  Don't sink to their level, but don't condone them either.  It's a fine line but if you don't walk it you're never getting out of here.

Rambling missive complete!

I appreciate the sentiments of your post. To everyone else who hasn't agreed with what I have said, I am not a behavior nazi. I don't advocate starting WWIII just because someone called me a name, but on the other hand, I am not going to allow someone to sharpen their knife, so they can cut my throat with it later.

It is ridiculous that this is the first time u have encountered any rude behaviour on the internet. U have played 100s of games, and this happened 1 time? It is not necessary to post some minor nuisance on a forum. Can't u just ignorehim ? U don't even have to look at the chat box unless u click on it. Some guy started calling me stupid, slow, during a recent online game. I just ignored him and won. Notice how I didn't care, and hopefully you will be able to apply this in your own games.

 You must not be an officer, and for good reason to I might add.

Some people set the alert to notify them if there are any chat messages from their opponent. I have mine set to chat by default. We do this as a courtesy to our opponent. The intention by Chess.com for those tools was courtesy and communication of cordial and courtious ideas. Its one thing if you are in a relatively even game that you can win, but wait til it happens and there is no hope for you to win and lets see how you really feel when you cant make them eat their words.

Well said chris. With that said, I think you should make perhaps one reply to him just to make your point that his behavior shouldn't have to be tolerated. Try to emphasize how his comment has no value whatsoever, and he might feel less powerful. After that, the bully will usually continue the same stuff he was doing, but trust me -- he heard that comment, and he has been made aware that someone doesn't tolerate his attitude. Just ignore him afterwards.

If enough people did that, maybe we would get through to some of those bullies that their behavior doesn't make them smarter than anyone else. Sometimes saying absolutely nothing in response can be seen as "weakness," as if too afraid to reply. Objectively that's probably not true -- the person may just not be rattled at all by the rude comment -- but bullies will interpret it that way to make them feel better, and most likely they will continue to abuse others, because they see no resistance. I think that's how real life is too -- if you completely ignore the person, they will see that and may take that as fear, and think they can say whatever they want because they don't think you will do anything about it; make your point to them first, then ignore them.

Sorry, you are right you guys, we should all just lay down and politely eat the s#!t our opponents want to feed us....no thanks, I am on a special diet

 fhwee : We both have 2 rooks each and he also have 6 pawns, whilst I only have 4 pawns.

Do you have a plan on how to save the game or are you just hoping your opponent will miss a time control and so give the game to you? I accept you don't have to resign but I don't understand why you haven't.

 Well, when I  know I am totally lost, I would just resign quickly, so I can give my opponent his well deserved win. To me, if the opponent gets a won position, and I mean a totally won position, up +4.00 or more, he deserves a win, and any swindle will be too low to try. But when I am losing, and my opponent starts to harass me(its never happened; all opponents that are better than me have been very courteous, but Ill accept it as a possibility), it doesn't matter whether or not they eat their words. It is enough to ignore them, and not to make a big deal about it. The person who insulted Frank is not to b looked upon as a criminal or anything; for all we know he is an eight year old who doesn't know better.

 check his rating, at that level 2 pawns means nothing , he will be a fool to resign , the other player must be a bit a moron tho ,play the game to the end period.

Hey fhwee, I understand your frustration. In 99% of all the games I've played here, my opponents are wonderful. I've made some great friendships with people I've faced off against on the boards here at chess.com. However, there is the 1% who tend to be rude and demonstrate a complete and total lack of class and manners. I have be in the same situation and try to politely suggest that my rude opponent exercise good sportsmanship. One guy told me to stop being such a "fag" and to "man-up." I was upset at first, not because of what he called me since I don't care what lifestyle people have, but because he was just being so rude. At this point, I simply disabled the chat function and played the game. Interestingly enough, I've found the ruder the opponent, the worse their game was. There is something satisfying about beating a rude opponent with tactical skills rather than verbal skills.

Unfortunately, the Internet allows all sorts of people to hide behind their computers and fling insults while playing chess. Chess.com has the best membership as far as polite players go. I've played on a few other sites and some of the nasty commentary in the chat windows is unbelievable. I had gone through treatments for cancer and actually had a guy, on another chess site, tell me he hoped I died after I won the game. Did it upset me? No! I laughed about because I realized that someone who was so hateful would never have a pleasant life.

I have to say fhwee, getting harassed via the chat window while trying to play a supposed gentleman's game can be upsetting and I do not discount your feelings. However, it is best to develop a thick skin and ignore rude opponents. In fact, you really should feel sorry for someone who has to result to cyber-bullying. What a sad pathetic life one must have if they have to thrown a childish tantrum while playing such a beautiful game.

If you ever want to play a civilized game, just send me a challenge. I promise you'll get nothing but pleasant conversation. I am very interested in other cultures which is why chess.com appeals to me. I get a chance to play chess, meet some very interesting people and learn a great deal about other parts of the world. I teach chess in a number of public and private schools in San Francisco. It amazes me that 1st graders have much better playing manners than some of the individuals I've played here, although as I said earlier, the percentage of rude players is exceptionally low. Take care and remember, ignore the occasional rude opponent you encounter. We're all on your side on this one!

To:-mike_bike_kite,

Thank you for your feedback.My opponent asked me to resign on the 27th move.He do not have a totally won position. We are playing 3 days per move. But  I do not wait for 3 days to make a move even though I have about 85 games on-going. Usually I will respond when my opponent makes his move. And the game usually end in about 3 to 4 days.

If you could kindly refer to the 1st game which I resigned on the 28th move, he had a good winning position and adhering to chess etiquette, I resigned (without asking to). But it was very different in this 2nd game which is the bone of contention. My middle game position is not totally lost, even though he now had the  edge of 4 extra pawns. PLease refer to this on-going game, and you may agree with my analysis.

I would like to add that I am not a materialistic  player. I had in past previous games, offered my opponent a draw, even though I had 2 extra pawns because my position  was strategically hopeless. My opponent accepted.

Fhwee, I didn't look at your game history and it sounds like you're not trying to swindle your opponent with a timeout. I did look at your game just now and I suspect a 4 pawn advantage, with 3 connected passed pawns and better rook placement is definitely going to result in a win for white.

On your home page you mention "Chess appears to be an intricate, complex game between two individuals of different mind set" and I guess you'll just have to understand that he sees the game as over and can't understand why you're continuing. Obviously it's entirely up to you whether you wish to continue or resign - if you think the game is still open then definitely you should play on though I'd say he just needs to trade a rook (or two) and queen a pawn on the left to leave a simple checkmate (approx 15 moves).

On the positive side he might die in a road accident before getting there

Enjoy your games!

To be fair, the game has moved on from the original position of contention. Earlier, Black missed at least one chance to complicate a difficult position.

 Shut up prawn. Don't try to analyze positions with our weak noobie mind. Look at your pathetic rating.. I'm younger than you and have a rating over 100 points higher than you hahahaha suck it.

I content myself with the knowledge that you won't be here long.

I have been here since the beginning, what now noobie? you dont like being a weak noobie hmm? look at your rating and look at mine... you were talking crap and now i put you in your place hahahahaha

I'm a little confused. Beside your name it states you've been a member for just a month, your rating appears to be a couple of 100 points below Prawn and your maturity somehwere around kindergarten ... all a bit sad really.

 Are you stupid? Look at his blitz rating which is about 1750. Mine is closer to 1900. I hope that clarifies things for your weak brain.