Now, as a long-tem happily married man, I do not endorse this kind of behavior. Besides being politically incorrect, you could be arrested and "taken to the cleaners" in a divorce court.
That caveat aside: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4R5wZs8cxI
I would never do that. But here, something more light-hearted: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO0-5D05KQA
Yeah..., or you could go the James Cagney route.