Am I the a-hole????

pt.1

So its 5:30pm and my mother wants me to make the salad for dinner but i am too involved in playing games on my laptop to care at that moment.

a bit of time passes and i get up to make the salad. i only find a few ingredients to begin with so i hand the incomplete bowl to my mother who asks for me to finish it and i say i will..

while i make the salad i go to my laptop every 5 minutes to check the game (iykyk)

pt 2.

then i find a few avocados to put in the salad but the two i picked were old and moldy so i ignore the avocados entirely in the salad.

my mother comes out to check what im doing and she rightfully complains that the tomatoes look a bit off so i throw them out.

then she asks why i dont have any avocados in the salad bowl and i say i didnt grab any good ones. she looks and finds a good one then says i need to clear the kitchen bench for her to make the main dinner. then she says im an hour late to making the salad and i dont respond. she says the same thing multiple times with a few other exclamations in between.

pt 3.

ask why she said the exact same thing multiple times and she begins to get mad and tell me it was my response to her feedback and talking over her that then influenced her to say it again.

she then starts yelling at me while i remain calm and ask her exactly what it was that enraged her. (she has no specific answer, leading me to believe there was none. (i have adhd so i sometimes forget details things that happened recently))

i continue to remain calm while pressing her to tell me what exactly it was that i did and she calls for a time-out and then continues to yell at me. then when i finally speak she says “no, i timed out”.

i continue to say things like “im sorry you feel this negatively to what i am doing, but i don’t understand why me being calm warrants such a negative response.” she continues to say time-out and now im laying on my bed typing this..

both of you are at fault, you for being a bit too occupied with hyour game, and her just scolding you without telling you the reason why

Probably. Especially considering the fact that you feel you need validation from the internet in this situation.

#5 ah sorry, this is a recurring situation with my mother and i but it is usually and quite apparently me causing the issue but in this situation i believe otherwise..?

Yeah. You were too occupied with your game, leading to the salad being made incorrectly and taking a long time to prepare. This one's on you, boo.

Responsibilities before the game... Unless it was ranked 🤣

honestly no

Lemme guess. Roblox?

Tldr version: If you have to ask, normally the answer is yes.

In the old days ...

Hey having adhd is hard k I speak from experience

I know specifically from living with my brother that this same exact scenario has happened many-a-time ! I think both of you are likely at fault, you for being late with dinner and your mum for yelling at you with no entirely specific reason. also idk if you do but IF you do, don't feel like it's all your fault because it really isn't- double also, I'm sorry your mum yelled at you, I know that can be annoying, overstimulating, and in some cases traumatizing. <3

okay to clarify, yes i know i did a few things wrong such as: being too involved in games, pushing her for answers etc..

im just asking for an outsider view of the situation because arguments with my mother always just end with either of us giving up and it never going anywhere..

thank you to the people here who gave their viewpoint, its greatly appreciated

You made the salad right? So you're not an a-hole. You should actually be proud of yourself for helping take care of your family. It's admirable that you do that.

I think is 80% your fault and 20% your mother's