Anger Management for Chess.com Members

fb not smart at all, just thinks he is.  His references to France and my TU could only have been known by someone who used to call himself Dragan on another site.  I suspect that he either forgets what he's said to who under different guises, or that he has to deliberately give the game away to satisfy his strange ego of attempting to keep people interested.  Either way, it doesn't really matter does it; he sounds like a very lonely character 

Yes, I think it goes to deep rooted issues FP. 

Every person is different, as are the causes. 

We don't walk away from our childhood or past without it influencing us, weather we realise it or not. 

We will have to take a theoretical person & take a run at your question. 

Lets call that person Mr X as a hypothetical case study. (just a sketch right here) 

Mr X was born into a working class background.

One older sister & an overbearing aggressive father who belittled Mr. X but not his sister.

Mr. X is fed of what it is like to be a man from his Dad for 18 years. He gets bullied by his Dad, takes in all the negativity, is not too smart in school, not too popular & the only way he can find some measure of self esteem, is by doing what has been done to him. It is the only thing he knows. So he starts bullying the younger kids.

Now, his confidence starts to rise a little, based on the premise that bullying makes him feel superior to others. So his inferiorty complex gets a taste of relief by swinging to the opposite side.

It is a false adapted self as the authentic self is a wounded little boy with little confidence, not too smart & not too popular.

At 18 he joins the army. Feels quite comfortable in the army as he does not have to think for himself. He just follows orders. Home from home really, as his Dad always told him what to do.

So he fits right in. Gets along quite well. Is a good squaddy. His officers give the orders to the sergent, sergeant to the corporal, corporal to the lance corporal and the corporal to the grunts. Easy enough for him to understand there is an unquestionable chain of command. An authority that is simply followed, never questioned, acting out without thought. Simple.

Mr X. comes out of the army, is taken care of with some government position or another. And follows another chain of command without question. Pattern is firmly established. 

Incapable of thinking for himself Mr. X just follows what he is told to do. Listens to what any type of authority tells him. 

Now, years later. Mr X is has gained some social status. He might have beaten some people to a pulp in his day, maybe even shot a few people, who knows? He cannot be blamed of course - just following orders.

That wounded little boy is still there somewhere. Hidden from sight, the false adaptive self has grown in strength, denial & defence mechanisms are high. Awareness is dim.

Superiority complex is running rampant, there is an inner need to feel superior because if he does not he is faced with the unbearable - the inferior complex and the wounded child.

So better to attack than face that type of inner nightmare. The authentic self gets buried under a pile of debris that is caused by the aggressive march of the false adaptive self. The wounded child never gets a look in, unfortunately.

So the mindset is simple for a Mr. X type, the more they falsely believe that they are somehow superior, the more it keeps them from their wounds & deep seated sense of inferiority.

The false adaptive self has built an emotional and mental construct that is based on aggression and bullying. So by the time they hit 40 for example, they have had 38 years of being bullied (starts with Dad), 35 years of being a bully (starts from a learnt pattern from Dad at 5 yr old in the playground). It is all they know.

And they act out of that unconsciously most of the time. It is a set pattern, highly defensive, highly supported by authoritative schooling & built to attack.

Quite sad actually, when you follow it to the root. As hypothetical as this is, you have to have empathy for the wounded child. All the sensitivity, the caring for others, their own empathic connection etc, is 'locked' within the wounded child.

Very tough to get past the high security walls though. Months, maybe years of work to try and reach the pain of the wounded child.

You can only end up having empathy for Mr. X as he is acting out of his woundedness.

He probably will never be able to see it himself.

***Not sure if this helps to answer your question FP. It is just a hypothetical sketch (case) outline.

It does hopefully help to highlight a few minor things though  

Nik mentioned multiple personalities. It's rare, but why not? I believe some of these trolls, like Frenchy, sometimes operates with at least two different accounts on the same thread. He's been sweet-talking to himself, giving compliments, etc.

Then you have warrenbuffet2016, former masterkey2016, who just spew out hate against women until his account gets closed down. Same shit, new wrapping. I got into some turbulence on his thread, and he reported me to the mods (who sent me a message and reminded me about this being a friendly site; yeah, right).

Ersten - Basher has been 'uncovered' theoretically of course. Starts in this thread and goes on for pages.

'What goes around - comes around.' 

Starts at post 21

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/europe-makes-me-laugh

Alright, you got it covered. I'll go back to my chess for now.

I got 11 days or so left on threads. Hopefully we can be Dharma buddies after that Ersten - am going into the practice. 

Feel free Gl. An interesting insight Nik and explains why some peope seem so naturaly aggressive when there's no need to be.  There's a few on these forums that see every topic, every discussion as some sort of competition, where rather than attempt to assert a certain viewpoint they have to be seen as 'superior'. 

Presumably because of this 'superiority complex' and lack of ability to debate is why they hurl childish insults, and maybe as you suggest betrays an unfortunate childhood. Shame really, they could be havin' a laugh and joke with people instead, chill out a bit and enjoy others company, and others enjoy their company instead of letting everyone see them as a bunch of ++++'+

I've been a bit busy so just catching up.  Have you seen the dialogue between them on the racism and Europe threads?  In your professional opinion, what on earths up with them; possibly enough there for a whole conference?

Watch out for the patterns FP. If it is not you, Ghosty or myself that are the target, then it will be someone else.

Like I predicted with FB, no containment, goes from thread to thread with the same poison about people. Quite sad actually. You can only empathise with them at the end of the day.

They go at the world like that. Best to take nothing personal. As most people they come in touch with them will get a taste of the same. 

Me?  They don't bother me, find some of their funny in fact in a macabre sort of way. I'm amazed that people can be like that as it's rare to come across them in real life.  I'm assuming that they put a different head on when dealing with people face to face, keeping the nasty stuff hidden away. 

They can pick on me all they like, having worked in construction all my life I developed rhino skin!  There's nothing that they say that hurts but amazes me at the lengths they go to, and the intention and venom behind it, without apparently realising that they're showing their true selves to the whole world. 

Hopefully while they're firing peas at my armour they'll be leaving others alone.  Surprised at admin though allowing such stuff as it must undoubtedly chase customers away, and especially as their venom has broken stated site rules many times.  The fella pictured above says it all. I know some people who suffer from depression often try to make others as unhappy as they are.  Sad really, a waste of energy and the people it hurts most is themselves.  Though I prefer post 71; can't stop laughing every time I look at it!!

Yes FP, I like black comedies too. It is the sheer lack of awareness, like you say, on here, at least with some people which is so amusing. 

I quite like reading the forums, but just as a bit of light entertainment. Its not really a place for serious debate. You do need a thick skin to post anything on here.

I long ago came to the conclusion its better just to ignore the rude, immature stuff. By participating you only give people the attention they seem to enjoy.

Having said that, some people are just so damn annoying or plain nasty that sometimes I am incapable of behaving in the zen and non-judgemental manner that I aspire to, and launch right in....

I've stopped tuning in mate, Ghosty doesn't do hate radio.

Ok, as you know I'm not above a little cutlass-waving in (off) topical waters from time to time, but essentially I try to contain my native aggression to the only place it rightly belongs: