best joke wins

On a magical island their was three people the first was named Bill the second was Phil and the third
was Jill. On the island 🌴 was a very special mountain. When you jump off and say cheese 🧀 you land in cheese, so Bill ran off and said noodles 🍝 he landed in noodles. When Phil jumped he said
money 💰 now when Jill went she deicided she wanted a running start so she ran back then forward
but before she could jump she tripped and said Oh poo. She landed in poo

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”: –
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling k-an be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the language is disgracful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

Nice 👍 very funny 😂 me vwant more funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

This guy is in a bar, drinking like no tomorrow, so drunk, he falls hard on the floor.  His daughter says: Dad, go back home, I’m not going to serve you anymore, you are too drunk.  He says, fine, with his heavy tongue, I don’t need you to serve me no more.  He tries to get up, he couldn’t, so he decides to crawl to the door and he does, just like a snake, crawls and crawls.  He gets to the door, holds the knob, opens it and as he exits the bar, falls right on his face.  I have to try to get up he says, I just live three blocks down the street.  He tries, and again he falls.  I’ll crawl home, and little by little he approaches his place.  He sees the stairs and tries to get up to walk up the stairs, he fells hard, really hard on the cement.  I must do this he says, so he decided to crawl up the stairs.  He gets to the second floor and crawls to his door, gets the key in, opens the door, closes it, and crawls down to this bed.  He tries to get into his bed, I must get up and do this he says, but he can’t, he keeps falling.  And so tired, he just sleeps close to his bed.  Next morning, his wife wakes him up, and told him, you came drunk last night again, didn’t you? And he said, no, I’ve been playing pool all night.  No, she says, you didn’t, the bartender called me this morning, you left you wheelchair back at the bar.

A three- legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west. The barkeep says, "Can I help you?" The dog replies, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

Ha ha. Verrrrrrrrry funnnny. Can't you tell I'm being sarcastic. Give me more (make them be decent or else 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🤢)

My life... wait I have non

^^^