🌟🌌Dimension Hoppers [RP Remake]🌌🌟

The inside of the food, is, bear with me for a second here, actually matches the exterior of the food. It looks, smells, and feels like real food with no drawbacks nor hidden corner-cutting.

To further add to this growing pile of surprises, Mark's not the first to greet you in the morning. Instead, who else turns around in their chair to reveal themselves other than Sarah holding a cup of lukewarm "coffee". She's set aside most of the paperwork and computerwork that she's normally accompanied by, focusing her attention entirely on the situation in the main room.

"Morning. Mark is out today, passed out from the stress. He'll be back in working order when you get back. Or if you get back.. I will be taking temporary responsibility for the delivery and informing you all. It's going to be very, very important. For you all. Maybe me if you do bad enough on it. But mostly you.

Today, you all are going to be meeting the boss. Technically the sub-boss if we're being really technical, but for all intents and purposes, you're going to be meeting the boss of Dimension Hoppers™. There are a list of rules,"

Sarah pulls out a makeshift handbook guide from under the table. From the handwriting, it appears to have been made by Mark.

"Do not provoke him in any way. Bolded, italicized and underlined. There is a list of sub-rules to that..."

A comically long list unrolls from the paper that just keeps on going, around the room, up the stairs, down the hall, and into the bedroom where it takes a quick nap before heading out to continue unrolling.

"Uh... You'll all be fine, just don't do anything stupid. Why not grab some breakfast before you go? That silent one, (Ato I think?) made it. "

R4ven looks fairly surprised at the edible food. Well, as shocked as a robot can look, anyway.

[R4ven] "Wh4t th3 h3ck h4pp3ned h3re?

[Aut0pilot] "Well, Sarah did say that Ato made it. That probably explains the difference from what we usually get. I assume that Sarah and Mark cannot cook."

[R4ven] "Ye4h, y0u'r3 pr0b4bly r1ght."

R4ven pick up the comically large list of rules and begins reading it.

[R4ven] "W0w. Th1s is... l0oo0ng."

[Aut0pilot] "You didn't realize that before you picked it up?"

[R4ven] "... No."

Clover finishes her food fast, as if she hadn't eaten in days, while silently eyeing the list.

The list does nothing to dissuade any potential fears at all. In fact, it just adds a metric ton of gasoline to the fire of fear. It's extensive, very extensive, along with being constantly self-contradictive at any and all points. Some examples of "advice" from the list include:

12. Do not engage in direct eye contact.

26. Do not avert your eyes for too often.

29. Insert at least one praise in every sentence.

34. Do not use excessive praise (eg. one praise per sentence).

56. Do not breathe in and out more than 20 times per minute.

70. Pray.

101. Speak before spoken to, but only if Saturn is in retrograde.

114. If 2+2 is still equal to 4, then continue to follow all steps. If not, then please hope that you've already deposited your obituary.

187. If more than twelve of those weird cloaked tall figures are present, than repeat the Memory Preservation Ritual.

188. Do not repeat the Memory Preservation Ritual.

200. If Saturn is in retrograde, do not speak at all.

354. Have all details in case of your death written down in an easily accessible location. Inform me beforehand of this object.

*Alice took a bite on the food that she sliced then looks at the "advice"*

"...god DAMN, that's one hell of a list... they didn't explicitly mention not to take his blood though- oh, nevermind, they did. For some reason, Raidriar and Alice seem to take rather unkindly to that, so I'll have to find some way to get my co-workers' blood without either of them noticing... not the boss though, that just seems like a recipe for disaster..."

*Alice looks at Cyntallia*" and then, the modern vampire is here... Hehe"

"...wonder how much demon organs would sell for on the black market... 'cause like, if I have to kill you, it better be worth my time..."

"Stop calling me that..! I'm not some uncivilized neanderthal who drinks it... I need it for bio-technological experiments... so drop it..!"

*after getting punched, she'd get up, load her revolver, and ready it*

"...I'd rather this not end up like last time, so don't do that again or I will blow your head smooth off."

Operator flies into Raidriar with a nasty drop kick.

"Behave."

Operator gets up and stomps on Raidriar's foot.