also, it is true in general, not just on chess.com
Do male players on this site deal with this?
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I can't think of any from the top of my head. But if chess.com had more like 50% females, it probably wouldn't be that much of an incident. It could well still be the case that most of the nasty comments would come from men, but it's not so easy to tell without a representative sample.
Then again, I guess one could counter that argument in a similar way to how they would counter the "if 50% of chess players were women, there would be no rating gap." Perhaps it just says something about men that mostly men are motivated to play internet games such as chess. Nevertheless, I think making nasty comments is pretty universal -- maybe the bad women will make nasty comments about fashion (perhaps in real life rather than on a website) and the bad men will make nasty comments insulting someone's skill. Hard to say I guess.
But indeed I do kind of find it strange that the first thing a person thinks of when being insulted is their gender. They take something like bullying, a pretty universal thing, and immediately use gender as the explanation. A male getting bullied might not be called a bitch, but he'll still be called something equally bad, just not female-specific.
No. The genders are different. Men and women bully in quite different ways. Women can be bullying each other and a man will have no clue it's going on. The genders are different in spite of years of silly efforts to make them the same. I like the differences
I think is an macho ego thing.....for some strange reason, many men chess players think women are "under" the "level" and when they see themselves losing they can't control themselves...insulting a woman seems like their easy way to deal with their anger. It is really not acceptable....at the end of the day chess is only a game
it is true many men cannot stand to be beaten by a woman.
Elubas wrote:
I can't think of any from the top of my head. But if chess.com had more like 50% females, it probably wouldn't be that much of an incident. It could well still be the case that most of the nasty comments would come from men, but it's not so easy to tell without a representative sample.
Then again, I guess one could counter that argument in a similar way to how they would counter the "if 50% of chess players were women, there would be no rating gap." Perhaps it just says something about men that mostly men are motivated to play internet games such as chess. Nevertheless, I think making nasty comments is pretty universal -- maybe the bad women will make nasty comments about fashion (perhaps in real life rather than on a website) and the bad men will make nasty comments insulting someone's skill. Hard to say I guess.
I'm not aware of any nasty comments ever from a woman on this site, or at least the percentage approaches zero. That is not true of men. Probably more like 5-10 percent. Quite a difference
Right, different ways of bullying, but it's something that both basically do. Perhaps women do more passive-aggressive type things, but that still seems to be bullying, just bullying whilst trying to look like you're not bullying or something like that. That universal idea of, say, jealousy, or trying to feel, in some way, superior to others (whether in looks, skill, strength, etc) is something that probably both genders are quite familiar with.
ab121705 wrote:
it is true many men cannot stand to be beaten by a woman.
What percentage though, do you really think?
Annabella1 wrote:
I think is an macho ego thing.....for some strange reason, many men chess players think women are "under" the "level" and when they see themselves losing they can't control themselves...insulting a woman seems like their easy way to deal with their anger. It is really not acceptable....at the end of the day chess is only a game
This is kind of speculative though. I mean after all you're implying a war between genders when really it could be that the person is just mean in general. I would of course agree that it's not acceptable to feel like men have to be better than women at everything, for those people that think that way.
ab121705 wrote:
Elubas wrote:
I can't think of any from the top of my head. But if chess.com had more like 50% females, it probably wouldn't be that much of an incident. It could well still be the case that most of the nasty comments would come from men, but it's not so easy to tell without a representative sample.
Then again, I guess one could counter that argument in a similar way to how they would counter the "if 50% of chess players were women, there would be no rating gap." Perhaps it just says something about men that mostly men are motivated to play internet games such as chess. Nevertheless, I think making nasty comments is pretty universal -- maybe the bad women will make nasty comments about fashion (perhaps in real life rather than on a website) and the bad men will make nasty comments insulting someone's skill. Hard to say I guess.
I'm not aware of any nasty comments ever from a woman on this site, or at least the percentage approaches zero. That is not true of men. Probably more like 5-10 percent. Quite a difference
Right but if say women only make up 5% of chess.com, then only 5% of that 5% would be a very low percentage. We'd expect it to be that way.
the percentage of men who cannot stand to be beaten by a woman?
Well, let's break it down: you have 1) men who cannot stand to be beaten, period; 2) men who don't mind losing to a man but cannot stand to be beaten by a woman; 3) men who aren't uptight and don't care to lose but it doesn't bother them that much regardless of gender.
category 1 might be 10 percent; category 2 maybe 5-10 percent; category 3 probably most men assuming they are not at Master level or above (i.e. serious competitive tournament players);
but then this is all idle speculation. All I can say is it's my observation men are more rude and obnoxious in open overt ways than women (i.e. rude comments on chess.com); whereas women are more likely to try to get at someone (male or female) in subtle ways, passive aggressive, whatever.
So then we seem to care about category 2 here (5-10%). Although, I would agree that 5-10% is still a number that can vastly be improved upon, but at the same time it's not like "oh wow man is playing chess therefore if he loses to the girl he'll cry because beating girls is his life." And yeah, male chess players, compared to males who don't play competitive games online, would be more of the type to get defensive like that. Although still, those types of people seem to just dislike losing in general -- I've seen plenty enough trash talk in bullet games to think so.
Naturally, certainly the "hey baby" comments are specifically towards females -- but people just being bitter about losing? Eh, I'm not so sure.
Chess is a beautiful game that can be enjoyed by men, women and children...no reason to be rude or aggressive. Is all Im trying to say
Ok :)
<<I ask in earnest. Are there people on here who just say weird nasty stuff to each other regardless of gender?>>
Yes, definitely there are. I have noticed that it isn't such a problem as it was, say, a year ago. It may help to ask ourselves why people play chess. Some do because it's simply the most satisfying "intellectual" game they know of. They are likely to be fairly well-rounded individuals without too many hangups, maybe. But it also seems to be true that there are others .....
Apr 10, 2015
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#38
I've been subject to many anti-Islamic jabs. I'm a quasi-Christian white American male.
With a dog.
Okay, post some pathetic nasty comments that you have seen from women.