How to Avoid Angering Everyone on OTF (Satire)

Let’s start by saying that many of the statements made in this thread are exaggerated for the purpose of humor. Also, I’m not targeting anyone specifically, so don’t take this as an insult, please. This is satire; take it with a grain of salt, okay?

Are you a new member of the Off-Topic Forums (or OTF or short)? Boy, you must be so confused. OTF is certainly a wild place!!

There are a couple of tips I’d like to give you about navigating this colorful corner of the internet safely and happily. Otherwise, your self-esteem might get crippled down until there is nothing left of you but a sad little husk of who you once where, filled with regret and anxiety, and we don’t want that, do we?

So, here are some tips!

• Don’t make person-above-you-threads. Because obviously ignoring a thread and moving on isn’t possible, you might not want to create this kind of thread. Many view them as low-quality instead of actually bothering to look at a thread they like, or maybe creating one of their own.
• Don’t post too regularly. Even if your threads have their merits, if you post them too often people will inevitably hate you. One every couple years is fine, though <3
• Don’t comment if your account is brand new. Everyone will accuse you of being trolls like “Baby” and “Idiot Box”, even though wandering through Chess.com and stumbling unto the forums when you just downloaded the app/discovered the website is normal and common.
• Be careful around images. Seriously, buddy.
• Be careful with your words. The contraction of “who are” is an absolute no-no, even if you really did mean it to be “who are”.
• Don’t express your opinions. If you don’t want everyone who disagrees with you to block you, better just don’t say anything. No blocking on anyone’s part.
• Don’t discuss trolls. They’ll just call you an attention-seeker even if you’re genuinely confused and just want info.
• Are you even paying attention? I don’t really know if anyone actually cares enough to read this. Hey, if you did read this, comment “hot dog”. Cliché, I know, but I really want to know how many people actually care enough.
• Don’t bother going to the website to read long posts if you’re on mobile. Instead, simply ask the OP to redact it for you, even when they probably have better things to do.
• Don’t expect your threads to gain traction. Especially if you’ve put tears and sweat into it.
• Bump everything. Really, man, bump the oldest threads you can find even if you don’t have anything valuable to say.

There’s a ton of other tips I’d like to give, but if I give you more everyone here will not bother to finish. Anyways, this is all! Thank you so much for giving this guide a read :]

Slay

Hail Chip, chat.

hot dog, if you comment anything about trolls, you will be downvoted, muted, banned and assasasinated

#4 Yeeee

🌭

damn I’m gonna get so roasted for this

Imagine if we started posting low quality NCS on any Person Above You thread that gets posted...

#8 Let's gooooo!!

Here is the arsenal of low quality NCS... NCS at very low quality [Playlist]

If you see any bad threads, post some low quality NCS to show how low quality the post is...

K

Any low quality music works, I just use NCS because it's funny to see the visualizer go crazy.

Also, "No Copyright Balls"

I'm hungry

#1, I feel like you could imagine Flowey from Undertale saying this. Maybe I could actually make that a reality...

Guys I'm hungry, I wanna eat

#21 How about now?

Yes