how to not get so mad?

I get extremely frustrated / angry when playing poorly programmed AI opponents.  The obnoxoius 3 fold rep / stamping back and forth between 2 spaces like a spoiled toddler not getting its way.  The AI refuses to advance or sacrifice a piece to advance the game.  It's so infuriating.  I realize it's an automated response, but a human programmed it...

every time someone says "its just a game treat it as a game" it just makes me so so so angry, it is the most stupid thing to say in the history of things to say to getting angry at a game

Good bump. But it *IS* just a game...

Yeah, anger when losing is a serious issue for me too, but it annoys me so much when most comments are along along lines of "if you get angry over a game, you must have mental problems". I mainly put my anger down to a lack of trust. It's impossible to know if your opponent is playing fairly when it's online. And there's nothing I hate more than cheating pricks.

Hey! I have been struggling with this same issue for a while now and my answer to this is very long, so I wrote one post on this topic here: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/community/how-to-deal-with-chess-and-anger

If you don’t care about winning, you won’t get mad when you lose. Lower your expectations.

I lost by timeout whilst also having mate in one on my opponent. I believe I have every right to get mad but how can I release it in another less destructive way? Anyhow, I got to hand it to Hash Brown they somewhat held out pretty well. 
https://www.chess.com/game/live/63256665677

I suppose you are right.

I do wish that they add a mode in chess.com where there is no timer in the game for just the loss by timeout. Instead they will just end the game if one has remained inactive for atleast more than 40 minutes. It could be like a practice mode for those who want to improve. 

Saying 'Good game, well played' before resigning/getting mated helped me a lot.

I can relate because even OTB there are cheats.

I use to think MMA are meatheads but compared to chess nerds; they take the cake.

At least when I competed in MMA it didn’t matter if you play a dull and dry system or cheat or lack sportsmanship; you’re getting punched in the face!

Soft squeeze balls. You can throw them as hard as you want across the room. The only thing that gets hurt is your throwing arm, unless you have glass biblos.