i need a kitkat
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I’m going to be taking a break from the social side of chess. It’s hard, but I think I need to, for my own mental health. For the past half year it’s been a back and forth of “I’m fine, I’m not, I am, I’m not” and I am so sick of it.
A video I watched made me look back on the past, when I was just happy. I wasn’t worried about being enough, about my mistakes, about the problems in this world: I was just happy. I want that back, and I feel like taking a break from the internet as a whole is the only way for me to find it.
This isn’t permanent, I will come back eventually. But I need a break. I can’t keep going on trapped in this cycle of being depressed, then shoving the feelings down until they resurface, then letting them be for a week before shoving them down again.
I won’t be completely gone, though. I’ll still play games and occasionally answer DMs. But I won’t be on any of the forums or clubs.
I gtg to bed after I post this, but I’ll be on otf for a little bit when I wake up, before I leave, to answer questions and stuff.
I wish you all the best.