I need a partner for my couple's massage.

I’ve noticed that because I’m on OTF far too much and I lean over to type, my posture is horrible, and I’m suffering the consequences. My back has been aching in pain, and my legs and arms hurt from running and doing a little bit of working out. I have tried Epsom salt bubble baths, but those only make me feel relaxed and don’t fix the pain in my back and whatnot. I’ve tried stretching it out, but I don’t the sound of my grunts and moans when I do it. I’m scared to tell Ari and others, so here I am.

So then I thought… maybe a massage would be good! I looked at the prices, and they’re surprisingly expensive. Then I clicked on couple’s massages, and they have a cheaper rate that may be affordable. Now that I’ve typed this all out, I would like to ask someone to get a couple’s massage with me and chip in a little bit. Afterward, when my back is feeling just peachy, I’m sure that we eat somewhere, watch a movie, or do whatever our heart desires. But first, I need a lucky someone to get a couple’s massage with me. It’s so much cheaper than getting one just for myself. Be sure to submit your application here, and I’ll see who I’d like to go with. Thank u, next!

is it time to reopen my @aritheswexiest account?

Have Ari do it

I already asked her. She was unfortunately busy recording some TV show.

LMAOOOOOOO.

I forgot about thattttttt.

Meeee

About 3-4 inches, yep.

Are you experiencing back pains and other old man problems?

really

For realsies.

I can't leave now. I haven't gotten my massage.

Ask what?

Yas, because I bend it 360 way too many times