I need jokes

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Sheeplover33

You people are so funny! I just wrote that I needed jokes and this whole page was filled! Thanks for being generous and sharing jokes. 

Sheeplover33

I will keep coming back to this page when I need to laugh!

yonitheavenger
a man was driving in a cab one day, when he tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. the driver jumped about a foot into the air and lost control of the car, skidded into a ditch on the side of the road, and came to a short stop. the passenger asked the driver, why were you so startled? i only tapped you on the shoulder? he replied, i’ve been driving a hearse for 20 years. this is my first day driving a cab…
snoozyman
How do you make the number one disappear? You add “g” and it’s GONE


Do you wanna box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.


Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!


Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet? They looked at the reviews… only 1 star!


I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.


Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.


Knock knock. Who’s there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.

I just had lunch with a champion chess player. It took her eight minutes to pass the salt.