Making everyone angry in a single thread (Joke)

(This is a joke, please don’t be offended, and remember that these may not actually reflect my opinions. I might also add more in the future, upon request or simply because I want to.)

I’ve come to make an announcement!

Basix, frankly, I think Ariana Grande is even worse than Taylor Swift. Worst singing, worst lyrics. A burning stash of garbage is better than any of her songs. Also, clubs are the best thing ever. I cannot stress how much I love clubs.

Teri, Teri, Teri. It might upset you to know that the flow of things does not always lead to calamity. In my experience, it almost always leads to, well, anything other than calamity. There are much better things than teriyaki and udon, I can think of many, actually. Also, VOS is the best word order for a conlang.

Macca, every single thread is useful. No matter what you say, they all are. Also, LEGO Ninjago is the most garbage thing ever. It is practically impossible to watch without cringing once. Also, Big Macs taste horrible.

Nate, rice is literally the worst food ever. I am sick of it; everywhere I go there’s white rice, there’s fricking orange rice, there’s too much rice. It was ok when it wasn’t as common but now it absolutely sucks; it is absolute garbage, it tastes like nothing, and that is the worst taste.

Sprigatito, you know who’s a better cat-like Pokémon? Litten. Litten looks a thousand times more interesting than Sprigatito. Just look at Litten’s shades of black and red and yellow, contrasting in the most satisfying way, and then look at Sprigatito’s plain-ahh palette.

Dead, I cannot stress this enough, hyphens are better than underscores. In other words, @Got-Dead > @Got_Dead. And the Two Soyjaks Pointing meme template is the best thing ever to exist, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Felix, I hate diapers, especially the ones from Walmart. Just— ugh.

Will, yo-yo’s are overrated. Oh my God, I hate them. Just look at them. Do you realize how ugly they are?

Leafy, salads are the best.

Espio, you know who’s the worst character in Sonic? That’s right, Espio, the worst depiction of a “ninja” I have ever seen. You know who’s better than Espio, Espio? Big. Big the Cat. Big is without a doubt the best character, better than Sonic, better than Shadow (also known as edgelord), better than Tails, better than Knuckles, better than Amy, and especially better than Espio. Froggy is the second best character.

Benjamin, NF is overrated. Every time I listen to him, time seems to pass slowly, more slowly, ever more slowly, so much so that Planck time feels comparable to a quettasecond.

Ninja, do you know what I think about International? That it’s the worst country. Not only is it way too big, it also doesn’t even have its own official flag. Its citizens are always being jerks to each other. Also, I doubt you’re a true ninja at all! Ninjas are Japanese, not from International, that wretched place.

Sobrukai, 1. e4 e5 2. f4. You know what I’m talking about.

Abtectous, you are not a chill guy. Also, you know how you said you have no enemies? Well guess what, I’m your enemy now! I will hunt you down into the very pits of hell to prove that!

Yukikaze, Depresso, you know what? I literally can’t roast either of you whatsoever. I don’t know you well enough to take advantage of your dislikes. You’re the worst for that, you know? I hope both sides of each of your pillows are warm tonight.

Rad, Splatoon is bad, and whatever weird Minecraft-ahh game you’re allegedly playing? Also bad, probably.

ActuallyForgotMyName, you know Astolfo is the worst character, right? Stop pretending he’s any good.

Cassie, Wings of Fire is mid. You know Tolkien’s absolute masterpieces beat this. You know it. Also, dogs > cats. God, I hate cats. Over-dramatic divas taking offense to literally anything mildly annoying, and yet being annoying themselves, knocking down everything and getting in the way.

Raven, Undertale is mid. It’s just so overrated, Raven. Oh, and don’t even get me started on its fandom…

As a person that was ignored I am angry 😡. How would you anger me?

Taylor Swift over Ari? You love clubs more than anything? Someone's had too much to drink today...

Best show in existence is an insane stretch, the rookie wins no diff

I was gonna include you but couldn’t think of anything good. I will write something about you in the future.

Ragebait me, I wanna see what you can come up with

You mean Dora the Explorer?

Orange is the New Black?

I don’t know you very well so I can’t say anything that’d be meaningful.

Nahhhh that’s wild. Tú eres no inteligente

Um, eh, I don’t know, uh… Cappuccino > Espresso? Dang it, I know I can come up with something better.

Oop

You have one chance to redeem yourself. If you upset me, I will have no choice *loads semi auto pew pew*

As in, “I don’t know enough about what you dislike.” We’re good friends, I’d never forget that.

JEEZ OK DUDE CALM DOWN