ice ball!
TEXT BASED ADVENTURE
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No no no! This isn't a blaahdy video game, this is for real. Either you rustle up some epipen or you're buggered dude!
meow
Use the first aid kit you always have in your pocket!
Yes. You stab yourself with the pen, the adrenalin starts to work and the swelling subsides. Deftly side-stepping the creepy old doctor you reach the door only the handle won't turn. Even with two hands. Dammit! Your hands are stuck. There is some evil cyano-acrylate or something gluing you to the handle. Cripes!
bite yourself
For Gawd's sake man get a grip! Actually the problem is your grip on the door handle. What to do? Here he comes, and this time he's carrying a bolt cutters at crotch height!
bite your hand
No. Your 'nads have been disconnected by the bolt cutters. Gender dysphoria is your fate. Game Over. Unless you are up for gender reassignment...
grow some new ones!
Good thinking, but testicular autoreplication is out of the question, especially as the bolt cutters are now on your left ankle. What now?
surgery!
Snip!
One foot er... down, one to go...
One foot er... down, one to go...
Snip. You are now footloose, and fancy free (as your fancies are already off).
Whaddyagonnadooo??
Whaddyagonnadooo??
snip the man's nads!
No. just to recap: your hands are glued to the door. You have been castrated and now you have no feet either. Keep up please.
lick your hands.
You reach for the puncture repair kit but as you apply the rubber cement you remember that you have a latex allergy and you are starting to swell up. The rubber suit is getting tighter and tighter. You are expanding bigger and bigger and now you are protruding more and more through the aperture in your suit. The target for that devilish gloved hand is becoming easier and easier as his evil cackle fills the air. Whaddyagonnadooo...???