True Stories [kind of short if you can]

Most of us have some unbelievable true stories.  I’m going to share a crazy one and invite you to share also.  

Preferably, it should be true but feel free to embellish or exaggerate as all mortals do.

No “hall monitoring”.  No stupid “little Timmy” spam posts please.  

My cousin JB was curious fellow. When he was about 9yrs old he saw an man at our local post office who was missing an arm. My mother told him that it was impolite to stare and he explained that he was not trying to be rude. Seeing the man made him wonder if people without arms had to wear deodorant. He was not joking, he really wanted to know about this.

In his 20s, he worked at manufacturing facility that produced metal parts for tractor and lawnmowing equipment. All he had to do was pull a lever for a large press that would mold sheet metal. One day, he pulled the lever and released it as usual but as the lever swiftly moved back into position, his thumb got caught in the clutch handle of the lever and it pulled the skin and muscle tissue right off of his thumb. His coworker saw it happen, and when JB moved the thumb skeleton to test its mobility, the coworker almost passed out.

JB went to the office of his supervisor but he didn’t tell him what happened right away. JB is passive and dint want to interrupt his bosses phone conversation but when the man saw JBs blood soaked shirt, he immity sprung into action and drove JB to the ER. On the way there his boss felt faint and almost vomited.

JB lost his thumb. He was very angry about this because he demonstrated to the doctor that he could still bend and move the nearly skeletal thumb as usual. But there wasn’t enough tissue to fully restore his thumb and amputation was the best option.

The company compensated him graciously to keep his case out of court and even allowed him to remain employed there. And, he was able collect through workmen's comp insurance for extra cash.

He told me that he felt that this was divine punishment for some thievery that he did as a youngster and that other people were taking the whole thing harder than he was.

A few months later I got a phone call saying that JB had lost some fingers in a work accident. I said, “I know, I saw him shortly after it happened.” Unfortunately they were talking about another incident! This time he lost four more fingers and only has three on his left hand and two on the right. (He was now missing both thumbs.)

I told one of my coworkers about what happened and he laughed so hard that he could hardly breath and said that I should be a standup comedian and build my entire career off of this one story. He swore that all Id have to do is stand on stage and tell this whole story and would earn thousands of dollars.