Witty Put Downs
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Anything 'Andrew Dice Clay' has said to his hecklers are my favs! I think you might like him TonyGas. Chubby Brown and Al Murray comebacks to hecklers are classic too!
About half of Winston Churchill's famed quotes are witty put-downs. A couple more:
Lady: If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee.
Churchill: If I were your husband, I would drink it.
"I saw an empty taxi go down the street, and when it stopped, Atlee emerged from it." (Clement Atlee won the post of Prime Minister from Winston in 1945.)
Whenever someone says to me "You're a _____", I generally reply "You shouldn't talk to yourself."
Mar 10, 2008
0
#4
TonyGas wrote:
Hi chess types. You may or may not know that I like a bit of a wind-up from time to time. This occasonally gets me into trouble and I am often called a variety of colourful and blasphemous names. I don't know about you, but I find this really amusing when it is articulate and cutting. Only today was I accused of being a 'protracted adolescent' and an 'a**h***'. This, apart from being totally untrue, is pretty second rate. Please hit me with your favourite put downs. Incidentally, they don't have to be aimed at me. I'm sensitive and my mother loves me :)
Probably the only one who could.
Have been called Rude Crude and Socially unacceptable
TonyGas: I’ve a few in mind, but are witty put-downs with cuss words allowed here, or will I be banished to the isle of Patmos?
I'll check the rules.
18th November 2007, 04:37pm
#1
Member Since: May 2007
Member Points: 3541
Member Points: 3541
There are a few simple rules for posting on Chess.com.
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I suggest that you use asterisks in place of swears.
Markle wrote:
Thats great! I hear that aimed at me regularly on here.
Have been called Rude Crude and Socially unacceptable
Thats great! I hear that aimed at me regularly on here.
Fey Fey, I would love to hear your profanities but wouldn't like to see you get in trouble with the management. How about you use a few *'s.
Okay:
Your mother is a ************************ing ******************* laurimensome ********************** aigmenvenium ******************************* trrugnau ********************** hippopotamus **************************************** Republican ****************************** and Daniel Radcliff ******************************************* with a bucket of ***************************************** in a castle far away where no one can hear you *************************************************** soup *********************************** with a bucket of ***************************************** Mickey Mouse ************************* and a stick of dynamite ***************************************************************** magical *************************************************** alakazam!
Now you know. You must never repeat it.
Thats a great one, I'll be sure to use it myself at the earliest opportunity.
Don't thank me, thank Dumbledore.
BasicLvrCH8r wrote: I'll check the rules.
Thank you for finding that.
Thank you for finding that.
TonyGas wrote: Fey Fey, I would love to hear your profanities but wouldn't like to see you get in trouble with the management. How about you use a few *'s.
If I did that, I might as well type the whole line in asterisks :)
If I did that, I might as well type the whole line in asterisks :)
That bad huh? I'm intrugued now. One of my favourites is from an old Marx Brothers film. A woman tells Groucho she has never been so insulted in all her life, to which he replies 'You should get out more often.'
hey tonygas my favourite is from a cricket match england vs australia i think
player A : hey why are you so fat ?
player B : cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit .
dommo wrote:
hey tonygas my favourite is from a cricket match england vs australia i think
player A : hey why are you so fat ?
player B : cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit .
Think it went along the lines of an England player wanting a runner for being injured Assuie wicketkeeper says you can't have a runner just for being fat fat hence the putdown....Quality
Read a post on torrents once some guy was saying how good Coldplay were and how bad Radiohead were
Someone posted reply
You Sir are an idiot ,don't know why but it really tickled me
Hi chess types. You may or may not know that I like a bit of a wind-up from time to time. This occasonally gets me into trouble and I am often called a variety of colourful and blasphemous names. I don't know about you, but I find this really amusing when it is articulate and cutting. Only today was I accused of being a 'protracted adolescent' and an 'a**h***'. This, apart from being totally untrue, is pretty second rate. Please hit me with your favourite put downs. Incidentally, they don't have to be aimed at me. I'm sensitive and my mother loves me :)