When you are in Live, click the Settings icon at the upper-right of the board. On the first tab is the option to Always Use Focus Mode.
For abort, you should have that if you are not impacted by fair play policy violations.
https://support.chess.com/customer/en/portal/articles/1444922-fair-play-policy
I would like to make a couple of suggestions for the live chess feature. My first suggestion is a setting that would allow one to always start in focus mode. My next suggestion is to add the option to abort a game at the start.