Dec 3, 2008
Last Online
58 min ago

IA/IO/FT Omar Salama. 

1: Learned the game while 2 years old. Kindergarten champion '63 Primary
Champion '64 '65 '67 High School Champion '73 '74 State Champion '76 US
Junior Champion '77 World Junior Champion '78 Decided to let other people
to become Champions '79 on
2: NM '73 Im '75 GM '77 Super-GM '79 Class of its own '81 FIDE seriously
contemplated to make me the only GM while the other GM's aredemoted to
E-player status '86 to '89 Solved the game '91 Playing for Fun '92 to
3: BS MIT '83 Masters Oxford '85 PhD Harvard '87 in biochemistry, electrical
engineering, mathematics, philosophy, religious studies, music, English,
Swahili, underwater basketweaving and many others of which I am too modest to
4: Fischer's second in the Fischer-Spassky match in '92, the coach of Garry
Kasparov, the judge in the O.J. Simpson case, the star of the Brazilian
soccer team, and the senior advisor of Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich.
5: Programmer of Deep Blue, Fritz7, and Deep Thinking Fritz7 (coming out next
year). It's now programmed to play the variations you are most uncomfortable
playing and the openings you failed to study for.
6: Planning to go to Yale Law School, Harvard Medical School, and a Roman
Catholic seminary with the $135,001 won for being a 5-time Jeopardy champion.
Also recently found Waldo and Carmen San Diego. (They were both hiding in
the bushes.)
7: Originally sang the songs in the record album of Milli Vanilli, knows for a
fact who killed O.J.'s wife, the key diplomat that desegregated South Africa,
solved the meaning of life mathematically and philosophically, and signed
Jesus' yearbook.
8: Won Nobel Peace Prize, Pulitzer Prize, best man 5 times, nominated 7 times
for best director, key grip, most popular, cutest smile, homecoming king,
voted best athlete of the twentieth century, and does not have a blinking
12:00 on his VCR
9: Regularly play 100+ player blindfold and ear-muffled exhibitions while
giving queen, two rooks, two bishops, and two knight odds, and allowed their
king to teleport when being checked, and encouraged them to cheat.
10: I lose half of my games on purpose to hide my identity, to practice the
virtue of humility, and because I don't want to crash the server again by
winning too many games. Besides... making you win makes you SMILE.