Grody to the Max, BOS vs LA (1.5 - 2.5)

(Beat reporter:  Mark LaRocca)

Can we get an Amen?... as in that’s it… the end… caput… I wash my hands and never want to touch a chess board again.  Yes, the Vibe played the role of Doctor Kavorkian and put the Blitz out of their misery in a hard fought match… Boston losing (1.5 – 2.5) to the LA Vibe.  All the credit to the Vibe, fer sher, like, they turned in a totally rad performance… especially on board 2 where IM Larry Remlinger proved the hero of the day… But, let’s not let our heroes off the hook… they played like Hosers, man.

Here are the Valley ratings…

IM Marc Esserman (BOS) – Tubular  (0.5 – 0.5)      

       White vs GM Melikset Khachiyan (LA)

      He kept his game under control, good match strategy.

FM (IM elect) Denys Shmelov (BOS) – Have a cow (I know I did).  (0 – 1)

      Black vs IM Larry Remlinger (LA)

      Denys lost a little control… maybe trying too hard to win… which was our strategy.

NM Vadim Martirosov (BOS) – Gnarly to the Max!  (1 – 0)

      White vs FM Mark Ducksworth (LA)

      What a Fab game… and no GOTW mention?

NM Jake Miller (BOS) – Gag me with a spoon  (0 – 1)

      Black vs FM Michael Casella

      A good opening by Black… spoiled by a bad transition to the endgame.

Oh well, sometimes you shoot the tube… and sometimes you poop the chute.  A Homophone-ious misuse of metaphors, I know.  But, true none-the-less.  And don’t let the switch to surfing lingo throw you… we Paddlepuss’ed our way to a big time Rail Bang.

So, now what… who do we blame?… and how do we correct it?  The first question is easy… we blame Ilya.  “So bogus, dude,  he didn’t even play”… you say.  Waaaaaa!  What a shoddy excuse.  Besides, he deserves it just for last week.   Now, the second question is much more difficult.  It comes down to chemistry… playing the right players at the right time… intuition… brains… finesse… Who do we know that has all those qualities… Hmmmm…  Let me think… but, first take a look at how we got into this mess in the first place… as Jake started our night off with a turtle roll wipeout.

They say you can’t crash and burn in the water, but, Jake managed it…

Boston (0 - 1)

but, no big deal… Vadim was cruising… up until we thought he played his first bad move of the game… 20.Bg2??... we were all screaming… 20.Be2!!... that was the move… with play on both sides of the surf board.  What’s up with that?  Well, check it out… and chalk up an MJL game of the match… which comes with a pat on the back and a free donut!

So, neither Vadim, nor us surf groupies were right about move 22… Nice game though. 

Boston (1 - 1)

Now, it  was up to Denys… who, of course, never fails to excite… So, I wasn’t too worried about thinking he was lost… up until he was, that is.

Totally Bogus, man… Oh well, chalk that one up to late night exhaustion… These west coast matches can wear on a working guy… 9pm. Eastern starts is tough.  Not that I am making excuses, mind you.  You know me… not one to complain… much.

Boston (1 – 2)

 Ok, well, I guess Marc now had to win to draw the match… no chance here… his game was down to opposite Bishops and Rook…  Played in true team spirit… His job was to keep board 1 under control… and it cost us in the end.   But, no regrets…

 So much for the Schliemann being refuted… I brought that up in a previous column… why can’t we just claim a win when someone plays this opening.  Anyway,  lame is bad, meaning good, in the hands of the right player.

Boston (1.5 – 2.5)

 Ok, Ok, like, really… what major dipstick predicted we would win this Grody to the max match… no not this dweeb… only cause I failed to get my  match preview in on time… saved by laziness.  Anywho… Let’s all chill… it’s not the end of this butt ugly season, is it?  There must be a hoser or two out there that we can beat up on.  I guess you just gotta be there to find out.

 Now, if only we had some brilliant intellect to give us the proper match strategy… well, check out the preview where I will reveal all… and take my rightful place… in the anus of Chess history.

 Join us for… Week 6, BOS vs MAN.  Come visit us this Weds., Sept. 24, 7:40pm.,  at 59 Shepard st. Cambridge, MA., SOCH building, Harvard University.  

Or, at least follow the games online… on ICC

and GO Blitz!!