Top 10 excuses for losing in blitz

Nothing takes the sting out of defeat like a well-thought-out excuse. So next time you study chess, make sure your preparation includes a wide assortment of convincing excuses, planned out well in advance for every possible contingency and opponent. A lot will depend on your own personal style, but here are a few that seem to work well for most players:

10. "I don't care about winning. I'm really more of an artist inside." (actual quote by former world champion)

9. Forgot to wear my lucky Ke$ha t-shirt.

8. Nachos goop all over my mouse.

7. This internet porn is way too distracting.

6. I'm high. It's late.

5. Wife constantly nagging me to stop playing and do something useful. Why can't she just leave me alone?

4. Next time let's play for money.

3. I lost interest after crushing you in the opening.

2. I forgot my glasses.

1. Drumroll .... lag.