Ever seen someone do this?

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/chess-openings/the-hnerf-attack

Not that I can remember, but I'm sure at some point in my life I started with that move or had someone play it against me :).  Actually had someone start with h5 against me once when I was going through my English Opening stage.  It's actually not a bad move; well at least the idea behind it isn't bad :P.

Well, you could say that this does test whehter you are a genuine chess player or just some moron robot that mimics moves.

Let's say you play 1.c4.  Why are you playing 1.c4?  To control d5?  To try to achieve a slow, manouvering game?  Or because that's what the latest book you picked up told you to play?

Opponent responds 1...h5.

Now why do you normally play 2.g3?  Why are you placing your Bishop on g2?  Because a book told you to?  If so, you are completely clueless.

Anybody that truly understands the English Opening would know that he is under no obligation to play g3 and Bg2, even though in an ideal world (and under "normal" circumstances", he would like to fianchetto the Bishop as the pawn on c4 blocks the diagonal the Bishop starts on.

Another prime example that I like to use is the Dutch Defense.

After 1.d4 f5 2.g3 Nf6 3.Bg2 e6 4.Nf3 d5, you have one of the main lines of the Stonewall Dutch, but why did Black play like this?

If your answer is because that's how you always arrange your pawns, you're a moron!  Why did White play 2.g3?  Again, with 1...f5, Black blocks the diagonal for this Bishop on c8.  Especially if he follows up with ...e6, he really would love to fianchetto that Bishop.  However, by playing 2.g3, White beats Black to the punch, and so Black blocks the diagonal with ...d5, and clearly must go with "plan B".  Plan A should never be to play a Stonewall.  After 1.d4 f5 2.c4 Nf6 3.Nc3 e6 4.Nf3, 4...d5 is an error with a clear advantage for White.  4...Bb4 is correct there.  After 1.d4 f5 2.Nf3 Nf6 3.Bf4 e6 4.e3, why are you playing 4...d5?  Again, a horrible move!  Black should fianchetto the Bishop while he still can.  4...b6!  The Bishop is beautiful on b7, whereas it's biting on granite from c8.

So based on what is said in post 3, if White has any genuine clue on how to play the English Opening, and doesn't play the first 5 to 10 moves like a robot, paying zero attention to what Black does and actually absorb the ideas, then White is just wasting his time playing chess at all!  All the more reason why you must understand what you are doing, and not just mimic moves because you see someone else playing them.

It would appear that you did not read my post very well.  Can you point out where I said that white must play g3 in the English?  Nevertheless, if insulting me makes you feel better about yourself, then that's fine; maybe you had a rough day at work or something and just needed to take out your anger on somebody.

A lot of beginning players, often kids without any training on openings or opening principles, like moving the rook pawns to bring out their rooks early. 

I have 4 games with h4 as the first move and 1 with a4 as the first move in my database of personal games. I don't always notate my games against beginner players so I know I have seen additional examples.

Interestingly enough, all the h4 games were against a player that actually knows some openings. Probably just played that to keep me out of book

Beginners do it all the time, it's how they think their Rooks should be developed.

They're trying to sneak it up the board and promote it without you noticing.

I'm usually pretty alert though so have only fallen for it once or twice.

Yes this particular line forms the mainstay of my repertoire as Black. Although I recently found a novelty on move 4: 4...Qxf2#! What do you think of it?

Then he did this.

Ah well you might as well resign then.

sometmes when i wanna surprise my opponent i play weird openings. example: 1.e4 e6 now instead of D4 you may a4. going with that pawn to blow up the kingside pawnstructure.

I resign those games.  Its a waste of my time.