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78. You reach an endgame with two kings and no other pieces, but you still get checkmated.
79. Your knights can't quite jump high enough to get over other pieces.
80. You tried to fork your opponent's king and queen but found them hard to chew. Maybe next time you'll try a spoon.
81. The last time you tried a smothered mate you wound up in the ER for asphyxiation.
82. You try to sacrifice your queen early because her pointy crown keeps stabbing you in the thumb.
83. You can never remember whether pawns move forwards or backwards.
84. Your favorite opening is the Bongcloud.
85. You once made a mistake setting up the pieces so your king was in checkmate in the starting position.
227. You can't understand why so much study is put into openings -- after all, Ruy Lopez is great, isn't it?
228. You don't have any chess pieces.
229. You call the knights "wooden horses"
230. You don't know where to get a chessboard, so you make one out of paper231. You call it a draw by insufficient material when you have 2 bishops and king vs. king232. You think the king can capture protected pieces233. After move 2, you only move your king234. You think people sacrificing their queen for checkmate are crazy235. You don't know what a back rank mate is236. You sacrifice your king because of his pointy cross 237. You sacrifice your queen early because you don't like its looks238. You purposely move your knights where they're unprotected so you can get them off the board because you don't like the way they look239. You sacrifice your bishops because you don't like the look of them240. You think pawns are cute so you sacrifice every other piece to keep ahold of them241. You castle by move 107242. You connect your rooks by using magnets to connect them243. You pin a piece by sewing it to the board244. You think you can only move knights at night
245. You always play Fischer Random due to the fact you don't know how to set up the pieces
246. You think rooks are immobile castles that the opponent must capture and cannot be moved
247. You throw your knight over the pieces248. You can't quite learn the pawn moves249. You resign after you have sacrificed every possible piece (even your king)250. When your opponent takes a pawn en passant, you say, "How do you do that?"
You say its for idiots.
251. When you see someone is sacrificing his pieces , u said ..that is a "mouse-slip"...
253. Your bishop switches colors
254. Your USCF rating is 0
255. You lose to someone who can't even play chess.
256. You can't fathom why anyone would play hour + games (I actually know someone like this).
257. You can't fathom why anyone would take longer than 10 seconds on each move (same guy).
258. When you say "soulmate" more often than "checkmate" (true story).
259. When you start asking where is the dice that you are supposed to roll to determine the next move?
260. You are worried that the pieces will commit mutiny.
261)you think the queen can also move like a knight
I've seen this one in real life
262)You don't know what castling is
263)When your opponent says check your opponent says "I didn't know I had to pay"
264)you get checkmated in two moves
265)you agree to play a game with 56 queens and still lose
Hurt/Heal World Chess Champions
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Best way to learn openings. . suggestions please
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Best excuse for losing
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Reliable open? - 1000 rating not stupid questions
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