Make up a (dumb) opening and name it!


The German Opening
So there is French Defense, Englund Gambit, English Opening, Dutch Defense, Italian Opening, Polish Opening, Ruy Lopez (Spainish), Scandinavian Defense, etc. But there isn't an opening named German (Don't tell me about Berlin Defense)?! So I decide to name this opening as German Opening.

The Imperial Game
White starts with a suprising move g4 to control king side, black develops its center by d5, White play Bh3 to protect g4 pawn. White breaks black's center by c4 and starts to develop its minor pieces and support its pieces to attack

Black Side | The Queen Opening : Knights Variation
Black queen could control the whole b-file or move horizontally to aim to break white's castle after White castled. White could follow up by Bb5 and pin black's king so Black's d-pawn couldn't move immediately. Or white could also play Bc4 to put pressure on Black's weak f7 pawn.
So why would black play this dumb opening huh?