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the chessboard is my matrix call me morphius, if u ask me who the best then its morphy yes! because hes a beast with the tactics and for the opponents the results tragic, vicious like fisher with 2 bishops its like tal with the magic.
and im not a patzer see my strategy to attack your anatomy, my bishop queen battery ready to enter your faculty but no time to waste! as i attack without haste because in this race im not gonna take second place
and i aint accepting a draw im like hell nah, if i could id put your king in a crippler crossface like chris benoit. if checkmating u was illegal then im breaking the law im just way too raw.
just resign its inevitable your kings gonna get the flatline, if he gets outta line i could kill u slow and take my time.
call me inhumane... but you couldve surrendered instead chose to feel pain, all my pieces alligned and your stuck in a bind with no move to find its a damn shame, if u havent heard of me chiseledchessys the name just challenge me to a game
but expect me to set u straight as i control the 8 by 8, this aint a playgroud kid im not your playmate in the end the fate for u is gonna be checkmate just allow me to demonstrate...
making my opponent take a wary pause
my moves rival that of Mamedaryov
your damaged pawn home; my rook sits atop it
readying the capture; it's doubtful you can stop it
1 if by land! 2 if by boat!
What a devilish time to underpromote!
6 knights v King, classic endgame
you shan't have faith in your stalemate aim
perhaps if you'd not blundered your Queen on e3
are you blind? you should've resigned and signed the treaty
players who meet me, greet me like to seat me
play me, try and slay me, then analyze; critique me
but seldom do they beat me, Panaka bows to no one
if i'm white it's 1-0, if i'm black, 0-1
Check it, I give rybka and fritz fits, manuevring quick hits
I'm probing the defense, and exposing the weakness
Then finish with sick, highly tactical swiftness
Unloading the pieces through those copious breeches
Locating, waiting and navigating the creases
Is what you'll need to deem your position decent
you shouldn't double pawns unless there is a reason
My King finds their taste quite pleasin and appeasin
My Queen eats rooks on the reg, with a side of eggs
to victory I float, sure to at least demote your pride a peg
eying down the meadow with dastardly fianchetto
"March onward" I oft-bellow, I'm known as an odd fellow
Amongst chess nobles, been banned from many tournaments
For turning it into a fracas, throwing my own excrement
Selling forged Vladimir Kramnik signatures on baseballs outside
and Boris Gelfand bobbleheads at a discount price
Vending ill-prepared breads that complaints claim is "too starchy"
and telling people I trained Ian Nepomniachtchi
Well now I have to go to work, today; I wish I had it off
But I have to give a lesson to Teimour Radjabov
Here's a verse that I wrote on another thread. Technically it's not about chess, but it's on a different topic that is just as important to chess.com. Here it is:
Post #4. It was a response to the OP's lame verse. Apparently I murdered him so bad he couldn't even respond.
Rap sucks all on its own. So why would anyone want to add something that sucks just as bad?
Yory Gregovich, name sounding like a grandmaster
check ratings, oh well, you're nothing but a bad patzer
I thrash slackers who only listen to rock, like dumb backpackers
call me a mad hacker, but I don't think you have the guts
My bars killed jimi, when I was spitting from my fathers nuts
Im like fisher and carlen combined you take my rook now your queen is mine finally you resign look i dont need my rook on the 7th for you to call it swine when i am winning you leave and waste my time. You did not see the sign that chess is not your sport because all you do is whine.
http://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/this-is-the-topic-about-my-awesomeness?page=3, post #56
Your position is Tuna Melt
Save those ridiculous gambles for the felt
Look! My rook is so bored, he's knitting a quilt
In a wet bog was your pawn structure built?
Tactical plans that dissolve almost by themselves;
You'll never see a game of yours on respected chess bookshelves
My queen slaps you with her titty tassles
Hassling you cause your dumb-ass never castled
Crass, you haphazardly straddle disaster
Callous, I laugh and set traps to clasp ever-faster
I promote to horse, until a cavalrous fleet
engulfs your position and clinches the meet
Olympian rooks dubiously perched
as your King solemnly continues to search
For haven or ally, but yet I say "NO"
All he'll encounter is havoc and foe
Verse 1: (Male Voice)
You may call me Coolmint
I keep my cool in a stint
Try not to stare in awe
As my pawns enforce martial law
Move around like a dork
You'll meet my knight's triple fork
It's a game of war we play
There's not much left to say
Chorus x2: (female voice)
In this game of war we play
Pieces move in a magical way
Leaving no place safe to stay
Until the war is over, war is over, war is over
My movements lead to art forms
As I paint winter storms
Want to survive the cold
Your movements better be bold
'Cause my complex calculation
Ends with your decimation
There's not much else left to say
Your eyes fill with fright
I've got checkmate in sight
Down goes your king
In my linguistic string
And no crying please
As I say my GG's
Remember in the end
Keep it minty fresh my friend
One of best ones in this thread so far imo.
Nice lines Panaka, I like the crass and callous lines lol
I gotta step my game up, here's a more developed position in a chess rhyme I posted earlier...
I know this isn’t kind hearted
but that last move was retarded
A blunder that plunged your
queen 6 feet under
Now she’s regarded as departed
Halfhearted your hopes
Uncharted and remote
The chance that I blow
Bombard me with smoke
And pray that I choke
Disrupting my focus flow
man, keep wishing
You pose no opposition
Behold me witnesses
Imploding all suspicions
I’ll show you what greatness is
But here is my condition
That the final incision
Made under my supervision
Is the submission
Of a victorious transcription
Given your hapless status
Do the Robert E Lee
Sign the treaty
Or get your ass kicked
And in the name of the Chess Federation
Submit your Resignation!
Should I even have to speak?
Or just let the pieces do the talking
I got my eyes on your king
He is the one I’m stalking
I watch him while he sleeps
and I watch him whilst he changes
The only obsession I keep
under max surveillance
So tell me this
What have you got to say
if anything at all
Maybe next time you shouldn’t play
the reincarnation of Mikhail Tal
Let these lessons marinate
til next you doth participate
Calmly interrupted by other player
your kings in the center !
please stay awhile... i have a guest and he wants to meet you on the open file
..knock knock knock!
its my rooks at the door! can they enter?
and yes better believe they controls the center
what a surprise that the open file has no contender!
theres was a reason we castle early did u miss the lecture?
they say its clever...
to control the file if its open regardless of letter....
to takes a mistake!
dont ease the pressure you can do better...
dont be the prey be the predator...
i cant rap i think i need an editor
this is c-rap not rap.
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