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chess rap

  • 7 months ago · Quote · #141


    (In the 'You're Banned' forum game, in response to g-man 15 rapping with gledz . . .)

    Yo, g-man-one-five, you R soundin' 2 jive,

    You kickin' it with Mr. g.l.e.d.-Z,

    But you now in a cloud cuz U 4got about me,

    Yeah, it's the JayBo man come to trip up your plan,

    I just pinned your Queen against your sorry King's ass,

    You got a comeback, One-Five? I think your heyday is past,

    Yer floatin', yer chokin' on my Kingside attack

    And now I really don't think that you will ever get back

    To the day in the sun when you thought you were hot

    And maybe hip to the trip, but Yo, now you R shot

    Shot like a drive-by by my Bishop, *pop-pop!*

    Yo' Queen-ho's a goner, she couldn't take it no longah,

    So I ban you right here and I send her to heaven

    Your bee-a#*ch iz toast, she layin' dead on g7!!!

  • 4 months ago · Quote · #142


    i tried to play rybka but he disconnected;

    scared to play a man who could so clearly dissect 'em

    all your games stink, you brought pieces en rectum?

    but my rectum is pink, pristine clean and sexable

    but i ain't down for it, only anal i do

    is the anal attention to, penetrating your crew

    and when i penetrate you, my whole load is blew

    your load stagnates making your man bits blue

    unless you are a girl, in which case, in any city

    when i win you'll feel milk swell up in each titty

    i got me pick 'o' the litter on bitches I want a date with

    dumb dudes i play - they'll never find a piece to mate with

    i don't hold it against him, forgive him - he's dumb

    slice through with knight - put a fork in him - he's done

    game piggish, and i reduce pork to crumbs

    digest em thoroughly then forcibly pass through my voluptuous bum

    such sculpted buns, attract dem honeys

    hustle chess hustlers and snatch dey moneys

    now i eat steak, shrimp and prawns

    my king eats rooks, pawns and all

    knights and bishops, swallow em whole, hiccup,

    you thought you had a shot? sorry about the mix up

    i sac rooks to toy with lesser men

    underpromote to em, then sac em again

    if i was a D-lineman i'd still sack rooks

    but i don't play football cause i like to read books

    also as you see...i adore spittin

    don't read chess books, they need to be rewritten

    to account for my instinctive precision, and not to mention

    such a positional wizard - the envy of every engine

  • 4 months ago · Quote · #143


    Nobody cares about your bunghole

    You a freak to run that up the flagpole

    The pieces don't move themselves you have to

    The engine is playin' so what you gonna do?

    A playa's a playa, GM or hustler,

    No matter how the pieces look when they muster.

    A playa's, a playa,got to have game,

    Keep talkin and talkin you'll lose just the same.

  • 4 months ago · Quote · #144


    see, peoples get mad cause my flow's emphatic

    hence electric pawn try'na start some static

    EP a stain, one I'll gladly wash

    you servin' beef but I'll opt for squash

    Speakin' of GMs...I'm a better fit

    patzer ain't shit but a diamond membership

    post another diss - i'll be back in a few

    judging by our pics yo - i'm blacker than you!

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #145


    Yo Panaka, you think your flow's emphatic

    But you got no chance 'cos I know King's Gambit

    I'll seek the king, and I'll throw shit at it

    Sac a piece, and when you know it's shattered

    Making you give in, like you know this rap is

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #146


    Caruana rhymes with marijuana - that's got some potential Smile

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #147


    I play the Caro-Kann like no other.

    You are going to understand why when I finish this my brother.

    I am amused with your lyric's, and my position I see you trying to rupture.

    It's ashame becuase you will never penetrate my fortress like structure.

    Your lyrics and chess skills are all lame.

    I plan to grind them down into a won king and pawn end game.

    So go ahead and try your best.

    I will defeat you just like the rest.

    Play move 1. King Pawn Four.

    I am going to win with a 1-0 score.

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #148


    I'm a caviar stain on a table cloth,

    You're slurpin' some kind of fecal broth,

    That kind of flow may be emphatic,

    It will also get you locked in an attic.

    Why does it matter you're blacker than me?

    Every pawn just wants a chance to be free.

    I'll play you a game, and you'll feel my sword,

    But please, no more of this anus rap, good Lord!

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #149


    hey man, you hail from Wales, that's very neat

    you gon' be sleeping wit da whales if we ever meet

    do you believe this fool? ...tail between his legs

    drool drippin out his mouth, on the board layin' eggs

    now you offensive to six phylums - making me nautious

    I lace files with tripwires so play cautious

    this ganja fiend needs some weed assuredly

    arrested by Captain Panaka, Queen's Security

    i'm a breed apart...something like a great dane

    hacker mad I spit a virus in his mainframe

    madhatter a better challenge, hacker you have to go

    l'est i smash my zapatos up your rabbit hole

    ...poco espanol...anyway the game of chess is cold

    like an eskimo undressing when it's ten below

    hit marijuana wit Fabiano Caruana

    still, on the board I'm Superman, man, you stupid Lana

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #150


    I'd be proud to be Welsh like Dlyan Thomas

    But like the rest of your rap, let's be honest.

    I'm not from Wales, that's your fantasy,

    Like pretending you're Jay Z on TV.

    You're rhymes aint bad, don't get me wrong,

    But your act as a whole gets the gong show gong.

    Fantasy Jay Z on TV,

    Focus on what you really want to be.

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #151


    Ain't reppin' Nawlins but I'm fly like a pelican

    proud to be welsh? how anti-american

    can't stomach my raps? you soft in the belly?

    just keep defendin welsch's name - i ain't jelly

    EP seems fascinated with television

    cause his raps are cartoonish, i'm sick, immune to penicillin

    are you kidding me? I'll teach Jay-Z his ABCs

    and shut your structure down with an EMP

    Pawn, your team's a goner, evaporatin like steam

    in the sauna your in with madhacker and caruana

    Yawn, ..........oh are we still battlin'?

    Cause far as I see you're up sh*t's creek, paddlin'

    Pull you out the socket, pawn no longer buzzin'

    His idea of a 'mating net' he used to trap his cousin

    Alright guess it's time to put "electric" to bed

    "You're(?) rhymes aint bad" - the most honest thing you said

  • 3 months ago · Quote · #152


    Apparently rap is throwing down rhymes,

    That make little sense most of the time.

    Your narrative lacks purpose and direction,

    And don't stand up to critical inspection.

    Catoonish like Tweety Bird or Buggs Bunny,

    What's up Doc? You aint even funny!

  • 4 days ago · Quote · #153


    Pawns spawn along at dawn

    Born to wage a costly war

    The Knights assemble and mumble, huddled

    The Bishops gnaw 'pon cobs of corn

    The rooks tend the field and court the maids

    Queen slips on shoes with helps from aides

    The king knits idly, sitting, nervous

    With many-houseboy at his service

    Your hyperstatic army approaches, loathesome

    Great E-lecetricity in the air

    My King pirouettes and exclaims "unleash hell"

    You merely shitteth your pants

    My macho stances slams against your forces' girlish prance

    I stamp you stomp you, pamper then romp you

    Strangulate you with jay-z's scrotal sack

    As my rook enacts a noble Sac

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