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chess rap

  • 7 days ago · Quote · #161


  • 7 days ago · Quote · #162


  • 7 days ago · Quote · #163


  • 7 days ago · Quote · #164


    This upcoming season'll probably break you

    I agree with Mr. Ainge: it was Smart to replace you

    Sad to hear of your career - here! I brought flowers

    Like Count Dooku said in episode 2: "My Jedi powers...

    are far beyond yours - now, back down."

    Play me on the board, yo, I'll take you to Sac-Town

    My pawns coalesce into a suitable swarm

    Rondo? I liked you better as the musical form

    Now let's talk genitals - it's (literally) why we're all here

    I told you about the sand in my vag in confidence, dear

    But it appears your moral fabric is suspicious and mean

    Sharing characteristics with Chancellor Palpatine

    My white knight'll put a Harvey Dent in your bastion

    and I'll work you as Black like affirmative action

    Your play is suspect but shouldn't be investigated

    You're a wildcat at heart; you cannot be domesticated

  • 6 days ago · Quote · #165


    Hey Panaka,

    I've played games of bullet chess that lasted longer

    Than your total screen time

    So why should I even bother?


    When I kicked it to Ray coming off a screen set by Garnett

    It was enough to make an incrdulous Jar-Jar wet

    He proclaimed none better than Rajon

    Not Qui-Gon not Obi-Wan

    Not even Viswanathan


    He musta seen me...

    Bumpin elbows with Lebron on the boards

    Battling wits with Anand on the board

    Puchin out Panaka because I was bored

    And now certified by FIDE as Chairman of the Board


    The only thing more extensive than my vocabulary

    Is my knowledge of advanced chess strategy

    I can anticipate a dozen moves in advance

    To be frank - you haven't a chance

    Around your pieces mine will dance

    In a puddle of urine

    Originating from your pants

  • 6 days ago · Quote · #166


    Originating from your pants, a thick froth

    I'm fly like X-wing, you fly like squished moth

    Dance with me won't you, frank? We need not fight!

    What you doing later on?? -- I've got all knight

    Playing punks like you, I be stuntin' dramatically

    Plus Jar Jar's always wet...simple Gungan anatomy

    "Chairman of the Board"? That's a little misleading

    When they just let you stack the chairs up after their meeting

    Yes my screen time was short but my performance? Immaculate

    Besides it wasn't as brief as someone's stint with the Mavericks...

    Battling me, Mr. Rondo never could impress

    Blaster on the hip bring a new meaning to bullet chess

    So give Captain your full respect bitch I deserve it!

    Your raps match your trade value.....worthless.

    Just for this Obi-Wan gon' let me sport his sword

    To slay the losing King of the court and board.

  • 6 days ago · Quote · #167


    I respect you though Rondo - your shit has layers

    This thread's like chess: 64 squares/2 playas

    I'm fittin' to team up with this former Celtic

    against any bitches who be thinkin' they can spit

    i'm open for business, whippin' up disses

    flippin my finger, trippin up bishops

    hittin' the chess clubs, winning the big cups

    sippin' from 'em, sittin on my shitty bum-bum

    ba-bum bum-bum ba-ba-bum

  • 3 days ago · Quote · #168


    I'm so pre-emptive

    pitch you my shit like Dempster

    check the temperature

    you a phlegm gremlin

    feminine, unkempt, yet i'ma legend

    you checkin for a mate, while i find seven

    unkind and devilish you're tepid

    left behind as I grind the flesh of your brethren, check it

    all you motherf**ers....why you hatin'?

    don't make me and yoda come thru wit gary payton

    and christian laettner, i'm chillin wit yo chick and baitin her

    with this 12 inch knickabocka

    you a rap chess waka flocka i'm 2pacapablanca

    my rhymes phattest headed for status of a mogul

    you ain't hot to these kids, Jared Fogle

    i'm a mixture of Psyduck and Snubbull

    mind you I'm troubled

  • 2 days ago · Quote · #169


    Dear Panaka,

    You are a big joke to me,

    and I find it laughable that you consider yourself hard.

    I've seen your attempts at protecting a queen -

    talk about an uncoordinated shooting guard.


    Let me tell you sometheen

    I have a lucky green time machine

    I take it back in time you see

    To long ago and far away Galaxies


    I, Rondo, renedezvous

    Wit m'boys Lando and Windu

    We shoot some hoops,

    and we don't invite you


    To the time machine again

    This time Poland is my locational entry

    right around the begining of the 20th cent'ry

    Here I have a great time - 

    trading queens with my friend Akiba Rubenstein

    While upon a splendid feast we dine - 

    and empty bottles of fine polish wine...

    All of this and I still make it back to my time in time

    to drop the finest dime

    To m'boy Willie Cauley-Stein


    Bass Line


    My game's a vibrant blossom

    For the construction of the universe -

    My style's a microcosm

    My prowess spans decades

    Whatever chump preceded my 

    I guarantee I'm an upgrade

    And ev'ry pawn that's impeded me

    I swallowed

    Like ya wife's honey nut cheerio

    Wash it down with gatorade

  • 12 hours ago · Quote · #170


    Check out the squad that I'm bringin' since now the plot's thickened:

    Ibaka, Nimzowitch, Andrew Wiggins and Botvinnik

    Don't forget Panaka, puttin' on a shot clinic

    Off the bench: Nakamura, Marcus Smart 'n' Olynyk

    Carter Williams, Tartakower, Chris Paul and Tal

    Everytime these motherfu**ers come to ball, you bawl

    Watch in awe as all your pawns'll fall

    Rondo's shit is unwatchable.....better call saul

    Keep Lando -- bad friend betrayed Han in a second

    Only thing lower than that's your 3-pt. percentage

    You can swallow my wife's nut, if that's what you're into

    But I haven't seen Mace since he flew out the Windu

    I'm Captain, 'tween you and Rodney, I pick Mr. Stuckey

    Bitch, you sucky whyonchu go back to Kentucky...

    Playoff atmosphere - observe the crazy turns that the night takes

    My turn? Great! *Handshake* Checkmate as the knight takes

  • 5 hours ago · Quote · #171


    Panaka, you great, but your name sound like Binaca,

    A breath spray, yo Dude, ya got some nasty ass breathah,

    My queenside pawns can destroy in an instant

    Ya best be defensive and piquant

    Look alive pal Panaka, your king's eyes are so wide,

    Sh#*, he swim in Formaldehyde,

    My pawns march on open knight and bishop files

    You can't stop 'em or defile 'em

    Your jaw drops in amazement as I tackle your whole show

    The curtain is closin' on the game you are playin'

    Cuz my horsey-team hits ya wit' the double hoof action.

    They parade to your castle and knock down the door

    Like Trojan ponies they ruin your king's faction

    Coup d'etat, pa-Panaka, your Queen-Ho is toast

    She showed some bravado but was killed by my HORSE.

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