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chess rap


  • 12 months ago · Quote · #121

    ChiseledChessy

    the chessboard is my matrix call me morphius, if u ask me who the best then its morphy yes! because hes a beast with the tactics and for the opponents the results tragic, vicious like fisher with 2 bishops its like tal with the magic.

    and im not a patzer see my strategy to attack your anatomy, my bishop queen battery ready to enter your faculty but no time to waste! as i attack without haste because in this race im not gonna take second place

    and i aint accepting a draw im like hell nah, if i could id put your king in a crippler crossface like chris benoit. if checkmating u was illegal then im breaking the law im just way too raw.

    just resign its inevitable your kings gonna get the flatline, if he gets outta line i could kill u slow and take my time.

    call me inhumane... but you couldve surrendered instead chose to feel pain, all my pieces alligned and your stuck in a bind with no move to find its a damn shame, if u havent heard of me chiseledchessys the name just challenge me to a game

    but expect me to set u straight as i control the 8 by 8, this aint a playgroud kid im not your playmate in the end the fate for u is gonna be checkmate just allow me to demonstrate...

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #122

    Panaka

    making my opponent take a wary pause

    my moves rival that of Mamedaryov

    your damaged pawn home; my rook sits atop it

    readying the capture; it's doubtful you can stop it

    1 if by land! 2 if by boat!

    What a devilish time to underpromote!

    6 knights v King, classic endgame

    you shan't have faith in your stalemate aim

    perhaps if you'd not blundered your Queen on e3

    are you blind? you should've resigned and signed the treaty

    players who meet me, greet me like to seat me

    play me, try and slay me, then analyze; critique me

    but seldom do they beat me, Panaka bows to no one

    if i'm white it's 1-0, if i'm black, 0-1

    Check it, I give rybka and fritz fits, manuevring quick hits

    I'm probing the defense, and exposing the weakness

    Then finish with sick, highly tactical swiftness

    Unloading the pieces through those copious breeches

    Locating, waiting and navigating the creases

    Is what you'll need to deem your position decent

    you shouldn't double pawns unless there is a reason

    My King finds their taste quite pleasin and appeasin

    My Queen eats rooks on the reg, with a side of eggs

    to victory I float, sure to at least demote your pride a peg

    eying down the meadow with dastardly fianchetto

    "March onward" I oft-bellow, I'm known as an odd fellow

    Amongst chess nobles, been banned from many tournaments

    For turning it into a fracas, throwing my own excrement

    Selling forged Vladimir Kramnik signatures on baseballs outside

    and Boris Gelfand bobbleheads at a discount price

    Vending ill-prepared breads that complaints claim is "too starchy"

    and telling people I trained Ian Nepomniachtchi

    Well now I have to go to work, today; I wish I had it off

    But I have to give a lesson to Teimour Radjabov

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #123

    macer75

    Here's a verse that I wrote on another thread. Technically it's not about chess, but it's on a different topic that is just as important to chess.com. Here it is:

    http://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/this-is-the-topic-about-my-awesomeness

    Post #4. It was a response to the OP's lame verse. Apparently I murdered him so bad he couldn't even respond.

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #124

    yorygregovich

    Seriously?

    Rap sucks all on its own. So why would anyone want to add something that sucks just as bad?

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #125

    HattrickStinkyduiker

    yorygregovich wrote:

    Seriously?

    Rap sucks all on its own. So why would anyone want to add something that sucks just as bad?

    Fouttahere son

     

    Yory Gregovich, name sounding like a grandmaster

    check ratings, oh well, you're nothing but a bad patzer

    I thrash slackers who only listen to rock, like dumb backpackers

    call me a mad hacker, but I don't think you have the guts

    My bars killed jimi, when I was spitting from my fathers nuts

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #126

    madhacker

    Lol excellent

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #127

    spaceman141

    Im like fisher and carlen combined you take my rook now your queen is mine finally you resign look i dont need my rook on the 7th for you to call it swine when i am winning you leave and waste my time. You did not see the sign that chess is not your sport because all you do is whine.  

  • 12 months ago · Quote · #128

    macer75

  • 11 months ago · Quote · #129

    rondo09

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 11 months ago · Quote · #130

    Panaka

    Your position is Tuna Melt

    Save those ridiculous gambles for the felt

    Look! My rook is so bored, he's knitting a quilt

    In a wet bog was your pawn structure built?

    Tactical plans that dissolve almost by themselves;

    You'll never see a game of yours on respected chess bookshelves

    My queen slaps you with her titty tassles

    Hassling you cause your dumb-ass never castled

    Crass, you haphazardly straddle disaster

    Callous, I laugh and set traps to clasp ever-faster

    I promote to horse, until a cavalrous fleet

    engulfs your position and clinches the meet

    Olympian rooks dubiously perched

    as your King solemnly continues to search

    For haven or ally, but yet I say "NO"

    All he'll encounter is havoc and foe

  • 11 months ago · Quote · #131

    L_coolmint

    Verse 1: (Male Voice)

    You may call me Coolmint

    I keep my cool in a stint

    Try not to stare in awe

    As my pawns enforce martial law

    Move around like a dork

    You'll meet my knight's triple fork

    It's a game of war we play

    There's not much left to say

     

    Chorus x2: (female voice)

    In this game of war we play

    Pieces move in a magical way

    Leaving no place safe to stay

    Until the war is over, war is over, war is over


    Verse 2:

    My movements lead to art forms

    As I paint winter storms

    Want to survive the cold

    Your movements better be bold

    'Cause my complex calculation

    Ends with your decimation

    It's a game of war we play

    There's not much else left to say


    Chorus x2:

    In this game of war we play

    Pieces move in a magical way

    Leaving no place safe to stay

    Until the war is over, war is over, war is over


    Verse 3:

    Your eyes fill with fright

    I've got checkmate in sight

    Down goes your king

    In my linguistic string

    And no crying please

    As I say my GG's

    Remember in the end

    Keep it minty fresh my friend

    After all

    It's a game of war we play


    Chorus x2:

    In this game of war we play

    Pieces move in a magical way

    Leaving no place safe to stay

    Until the war is over, war is over, war is over

  • 11 months ago · Quote · #132

    AssauIt

    Panaka wrote:

    Your position is Tuna Melt

    Save those ridiculous gambles for the felt

    Look! My rook is so bored, he's knitting a quilt

    In a wet bog was your pawn structure built?

    Tactical plans that dissolve almost by themselves;

    You'll never see a game of yours on respected chess bookshelves

    My queen slaps you with her titty tassles

    Hassling you cause your dumb-ass never castled

    Crass, you haphazardly straddle disaster

    Callous, I laugh and set traps to clasp ever-faster

    I promote to horse, until a cavalrous fleet

    engulfs your position and clinches the meet

    Olympian rooks dubiously perched

    as your King solemnly continues to search

    For haven or ally, but yet I say "NO"

    All he'll encounter is havoc and foe

    One of best ones in this thread so far imo.

  • 11 months ago · Quote · #133

    rondo09

    Nice lines Panaka, I like the crass and callous lines lol

    I gotta step my game up, here's a more developed position in a chess rhyme I posted earlier...

     

     

     

    I know this isn’t kind hearted

      but that last move was retarded

     

    A blunder that plunged your

      queen 6 feet under

     

    Now she’s regarded as departed

     

    Halfhearted your hopes

    Uncharted and remote

    The chance that I blow

     this position

     

    Bombard me with smoke

    And pray that I choke

    Disrupting my focus flow

      man, keep wishing

     

    You pose no opposition

    Exposing weaknesses

    Composing compositions

    Behold me witnesses

    Imploding all suspicions

    I’ll show you what greatness is

     

    But here is my condition

    That the final incision

    Made under my supervision

    Is the submission

    Of a victorious transcription

     

    Given your hapless status

    Do the Robert E Lee

    At Appomattox

    Sign the treaty

    Or get your ass kicked

    Resist hesitation

    And in the name of the Chess Federation

    Submit your Resignation!

     

    Should I even have to speak?

    Or just let the pieces do the talking

    I got my eyes on your king

    He is the one I’m stalking

     

    I watch him while he sleeps

      and I watch him whilst he changes

    The only obsession I keep

      under max surveillance

     

    So tell me this

    What have you got to say

      if anything at all

    Maybe next time you shouldn’t play

      the reincarnation of Mikhail Tal

     

    Let these lessons marinate

      til next you doth participate

     

    Calmly interrupted by other player

     

    “Hey asshole…checkmate” 

     

       

  • 9 months ago · Quote · #134

    ChiseledChessy

    your kings in the center !

    please stay awhile... i have a guest and he wants to meet you on the open file

    ..knock knock knock!

    its my rooks at the door! can they enter?

    and yes better believe they controls the center

    what a surprise that the open file has no contender!

    theres was a reason we castle early did u miss the lecture?

     they say its clever...

    to control the file if its open regardless of letter....

    to takes a mistake!

    dont ease the pressure you can do better...

    dont be the prey be the predator...

    i cant rap i think i need an editor

  • 9 months ago · Quote · #135

    EDB123

    this is c-rap not rap.


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