Stuff Non-Chess Players Say
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"En Pass... what?!"
"Look, teach, I won!"
"Errr... That's not a checkmate. Actually, it's not check."
"But I took more pieces than him!"
"Chess is too difficult for me!" (Translation: I don't want to use the brain energy to learn how the pieces move.)
wow, you're a genius!
etc etc. that's whta my friends say to me when I absolutely crush them, but the truth is I'm only 1200.
they're REALLY bad though,
^ If I could "Like" your comment I most definitely would!
This is the one of the best threads on chess.com! great idea in starting it
Ooooh I dunno about that but thanks, and thanks for keeping it up to date :)
Happy New Year :)
Happy n00b year
Happy new year everyone! I'm back from a nice long vacation. I played 11 games OTB over two knights..... I mean nights. I won all of them. In fact, one of my opponents, whome I played 3 games, got so frustrated by me winning every game, proceeded to throw all of my tripple-weighted tournament peices at me beginning with the King (accompanied with "Go ahead! take it!). I'm glad we weren't playing a timed game; my clock would really hurt.
Then I tried to make the person feel better by admitting that I am not really that great of a chess player and that I lose most games I play against those who really know how to play the game....oops, wrong word choice. That didn't make things any better.
Anyway. I'm glad to be back in the midst of those who know how to play chess.
camberfoil wrote:
Happy n00b year
I LOL-ed 
...and got bumped! Here's to a new year. And a new page of comments.
akafett wrote:
Happy new year everyone! I'm back from a nice long vacation. I played 11 games OTB over two knights..... I mean nights. I won all of them. In fact, one of my opponents, whome I played 3 games, got so frustrated by me winning every game, proceeded to throw all of my tripple-weighted tournament peices at me beginning with the King (accompanied with "Go ahead! take it!). I'm glad we weren't playing a timed game; my clock would really hurt.
Then I tried to make the person feel better by admitting that I am not really that great of a chess player and that I lose most games I play against those who really know how to play the game....oops, wrong word choice. That didn't make things any better.
Anyway. I'm glad to be back in the midst of those who know how to play chess.
Welcome back from your vacation! I've got a little over 2 weeks left of vacation before I return to campus for Spring semester.
So, um, someone threw your own chess pieces at you? Jeez. Did someone not change that person's diaper that day. The nicest thing you could've done in that situation would be to call his mom or dad to pick them up. Ha! Sheesh.
What if I copied the exact same moves you made for the entire game, what would happen
Haha!
Haha!
(You would end up playing the 3... Nxe4?? Petroff.)
At a kids' chess tournament, a game to an end: Black was checkmated, so the player raised his hand to signal to the chess adjudicator that the game was over.
Spectator: "Why did he give up? He should continue to fight even from a losing position and not give up so easily!"
Sigh...
Here's a 1961 Chess Life cover that needs no explanation. However, some of the comments may be too small to read so I'll repeat them here:
Lower Bourgeois: That makes it 57-1/2 - 35-1/2 in my favor, Broadbottom
Peasants: Say, what does it mean in the lesson where it says "Double O"?
Sub-Human: I see in the papers you played in a chess meet ... Is that a game something like checkers?
Well, I continue my losing streak against stronger players. I did better that I thought on this game. According to computer analysis, I made 29 excellent moves, 19 good, only 9 inaccuracies, 1 mistake, and 1 blunder (at the end).
If anyone can give some strategic advice, I welcome it. Here is the game: