Virtual Chess - For everyone who hates draws but loves chess

As a public service I'm developing a new form of chess for everyone who hates draws and/or can't understand why they don't win when they only have a King left and their opponent (with mating material available) runs out of time. I'm calling this great (sic) new game "Virtual Chess" so that people will equate it with other cool hi-tech stuff like computers, androids, unmanned drones, weapons of mass destruction and so on. 

Virtual Chess is always played with a chess clock and can only be won by your opponent running out of time. Ergo, no stalemates or draws will be allowed. Thus, even if the players repeat the same position 3x or reach a state of perpetual check, they still keep on playing until someone runs out of time.

In case both players run out of time before either one notices they both lose.  I'm still working on the rules to govern play when someone is checkmated before anyone runs out of time. One idea is to just keep on playing anyway and if one player runs out of pawns and pieces they get to put captured material back on the bd each turn so that the game can continue until someone exceeds the TL. 

It's the wave of the future so don't waste my time with any whiny, sniveling complaints about what a stupid idea this is which will only show that you're too unenlightened to appreciate my 21st-Century, 64-bit, octocore digitally-enhanced and bio-enginered improvement to the long since worn out, dull boring and stupid version of chess that will soon be relegated to the obscurity it so richly deserves.

VIRTUAL CHESS: Coming soon (much too soon in fact) to a chess club near you! Be the first person on your block, cell block or padded cell to take part in this fun-filled, action-packed and totally tubular wave of the future! You'll be glad you did! 

This offer is void where prohibited by Luddites or Emmanuel Goldstein.

I think checkmates can factor into the timeout principle as is, while adding an added reason to avoid them.

You mate your opponent and they have to make a legal move. They cannot. So they must sit there for the remaining time trying to find a legal move. This excruciating waste of time is punishment for being mated. It makes it slightly worse to get mated than to lose on time.

The rule would logically also mean that a stalemate is now a checkmate. I would agree with this. If you put yourself in a position where you can't move that f@!# you and die King.

andrewlong What part of "...can only be won by your opponent running of time"  don't you understand?

I havent decided if checkmate is totally irrelevant but it doesn't decide the outcome of the game - only running out of time does (just like in real life!) One possibility is to deduct a percentage of the checkmated players time from their remaining time. 

What do you think about replacing the rooks with grandfather clocks?

It's a good start, but I think the game can be streamlined further. Take away the board and pieces, and just let the players hit the clock over and over.

Ya such a smarty pants 

What about a rule which prohibits any player from making a move which would result in checkmate?  It guarantees that both players must continue to waste their clock time until the painful conclusion is reached.

But Jamie's idea seems to distill the game to its essence.

Let me rephrase. After what would traditionally be called checkmate happens, play actually continues. It is now the mated person's turn. They have to sit there trying to find a legal move. Since there is none they will sitting there for a while. If there is 90 minutes left on the clock, the person will sit there for 90 minutes examinging the board until time runs out just in case there is something they missed (which there isn't). If they leave the board for any reason (returning to hotel room, bathroom, giving up the game of chess entirely) they will forfeit all games past present and future forever.

The futility of the examination mixed with the utter humiliation of having to sit there have other tournament goers or club members watch you sit around doing nothing will inevitably lead to better play since everyone has more incentive to avoid a mate.

If your goal was solely to keep people playing; however, then there could be rule called "At last the French have arrived" or outside the United States, you can name it after the country that helped you win your revolution. You immediately get to place 16 queens on the normal starting squares for your side of the board any piece except a king on that square regardless of color is removed from the game. An opposing king that is mated by this rule gets to retreat to the nearest safe square or return to the kings starting square and activates "At last the French have arrived" on their side of the board. At this point there is at least 30 queens on the board, and we can all agree that this is way more fun than regular chess. As a punishment for being mated however (to avoid a race to the bottom style of play), the opponent gets to slap the mated player in the face.

JamieKowalski wrote:

It's a good start, but I think the game can be streamlined further. Take away the board and pieces, and just let the players hit the clock over and over.

+1!

Why even bother with hitting a clock?  Just give each player a clock and when a third person says "Go!" they each hit their clock and watch the time wind down.  While they're waiting they can watch paint dry or grass grow.

Good start, but still needs some work.

For instance, typing abusive words in the chat bar should increase time and reduce the rating adjustment in case of a loss.

So theoretically, throwing pieces at your opponent so he's slow to hit the clock, would be a good strategy?