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Madison12345
Murrrrr
Pretty nice story. Although I found a small flaw. "I crash into the glass window and run through the night". If I'm correct (and my english isn't perfect so I might have misunderstood that) they run through a glass window. After which you say "Anyone to look at us now would think of us as late night joggers taking a break". First of all, going through a glass window WILL leave some marks on you. Probably more than minor cuts. And a bleeding guy isn't something you would describe as a late night jogger. This part was probably the only part where I found the illusion broke off. I didn't believe in the story anymore.
I like what you've done with the characters. The story tells very little about them, but I found that to be a good thing.
clinttherakam
very interesting
did u write that?
If u did well done you wrote a nice story
Yuyuuchan
Lovely writing. I enjoyed it very much. I could not stop reading it. ^_^ You caught my attention and kept it.
Defacto
Not bad at all.
Begining reminded me of E.A.Poe "Pit and the Pendulum"....which I like a lot.
Thank you all. Murrrrr, I understand what you are saying... I guess that I should have checked it over a little more carefully... Thanks for pointing it out.
Well it's not that big of a deal. I don't know if anyone else noticed it. I've been writing for quite some time myself so I tend to pick up these kind of things. Maybe I'm a little perfectionist
Have you ever thought of making writing a career?
I kinda saw that
that was the only weird bit in the story
But other than that good story
I also think u should become a writer
empujamadera
Maybe you and Skipgugg could run your stories together
AfafBouardi
lol
Conflagration_Planet
Skye reaches out to catch me, and I bring him down with me. Wasn't Skye supposed to be a she?
IwillbeaChessMaster
It was good but I don't like "first person" writting. I prefer "third person" stories.
For people who don't know, first person is the author of the story takes a role as one of the characters in the story.
Third person is where the author tells you the story and is not a character in the story.
And why the need for "Exactly 2.4 seconds later"...? Was someone keeping track with a stop watch?
Elroch
shucks, I missed it.
Why are all the comment of Madison missing...
:( I wanted to read it again
AnthonyCG
Aww man I missed everything.
rich
[COMMENT DISINTERGRATED]
Too bad for you guys ;)
:(
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