How and why to play chess

Jan 1, 2011, 12:58 AM |

One is always on the lookout for ways to make money. One is also rather lazy and wishes
to avoid physical exertion. Today we will examine the game of chess because one has
read that there are people who make a lot of money by playing chess. Chess is game that,
as far as one can determine, is generally played sitting down. We are on the right track
here—money and chairs.

I have spent many playing hours chess. (I have spent many hours doing other things too,but it is chess that we discussing here.) I have gotten to know the male members of myfamily very well by playing chess with them. I have impressed them many a time duringour chess games. Only recently I made a move that stunned my male relative (a Harvardboy, so of course he is brilliant). He was astonished. He said that never before in his lifehad he seen anyone do anything quite that stupid.

People who are good at chess are considered very smart. I think that this is because they
have figured out a way to make a lot of money while sitting down most of the time. They
must be very smart. I sit down much of the time and work on this blog. But I haven’t
earned any money from it. That is why I am looking into the subject of chess.

In order to play chess, you will need some equipment.

This equipment can be really neat and really expensive. The expensive part won’t be a
problem once you start earning a lot of money by playing chess. Once you have made a
lot of money playing chess, you will be able to afford to buy a lot of nifty paraphernalia
from chess-related Web sites and catalogs. Just reading about some of the materials from
which all the stuff involved in playing chess is made of makes one realize how much
money you can make by playing chess. I mean, if there are shops that cater to people who
are willing to buy chess pieces made from pewter or brass or marble (those all sound very
pretty and weighty and handsome) and chess boards made of high gloss polyurethane
(that sounds really elegant), there must be a lot of money in this activity.

And there are those nifty clocks, too. You put a clock down and I make a move and then
punch the clock and not you and then try to rattle you, my opponent. The chess schlock
(spellcheckers) clock is used to measure how much time one is given to think. It would
make me nervous to know that I had only so much time to think, especially if my
opponent is glaring at me or sighing or snorting contemptuously or rolling his eyes. But I
would keep in mind that once I get good, I will make a lot of money and so ha ha.

Sometimes, I don’t even have to think about my moves. Indeed, it is probably just as wellthat I not think about my moves as they generate guffaws amongst onlookers when I take