Excerpt from a book

Bacti
Bacti
Jul 4, 2008, 8:05 AM |
2

As you may know if you check my profile, i am writing a book that i am planning to make about 300 pages. I am trying to become a therapist, and i write things that jog my mind. My book is sort of based on the movie Highlander. Each chapter is really short because the plot changes quickly. Here's an excerpt from my book, this is how it starts:

Forever, by Rick Drarri                    

                       Prolouge

                                                                  I wake up in the morning unable to think thoughts of death, for i have become a monster. I am nearly 230 years old. It was all started as a little day, modest, like the others, with nothing new happening at Brown University. Until about 3 P.M.  I was going outside for a drink, when i noticed a little boy, only probably 7 years of age. And then the entire world fell apart for me. It felt like only I was the one who saw him... My friend Brian was always trying to help me, and when the boy had frozen me, he was all the same mystified. Brian and I had always been special, but we never knew it  would change our  worldy aspects. The boy was no human, as we had seen him, but a beast. He practically....took our hearts out, molded them, and put them back in. I was completely suicidal then, i put a stake in my neck. But no blood came. I was not even phased. I was alive! The little boy/beast only chuckled. He..It put us on opposite sides of earth, me here and Brian in Kazakhstan. He actually told me that, i think to ease his personal guilt and mine. Unable to do anything, i ended up in Arizona after nearly endless running. My mission now: to find Brian, and to find the beast and ask for my old life. The only complication is the fact that Brian And i were scattered, never to see each other again. And as magic as the fact that i am immortal,  i believe i could magically break said barrier of separation.                                               I

There I was. Drowning, to the bottom pits. Losing air by the second. Deeper, and farther than an average submarine’s range…But not dying.                 I was by the Atlantic Ocean, having traveled across America, and in which during my travels I had met a tall, smart boy about my age who had the same curse, but a different story. His name was Ontocrecsen(a strange name in my opinion, so I called him Onto) and he came from Japan. He lived large, performing stunts in front of audiences. Imagine how easy his job would have been now. Then, one terrible day, he came across a stunt every man would fear. But not him. He was brave enough, and crazy enough.                             

 So he attempted it. And, as he was turning, he jumped off his bike and broke his spine and legs. He was about to die from blood lack. Then, in the stands where the people were sitting, he saw one little girl. Among all those frowning and crying people, she had a cheap little smile on her  face  .                                                        

 And then it happened. His friend Arro had the same problem as Brian. Arro was sent to Canada. So he came here in search of him.

          We discussed all this over a fire meal of caught fish. I found it rather amusing, eating when I was immortal.        

          “It’s a wonder and a pain, living like this. I’m already 340 years old, and yet still a teenager,” Onto complained. “I should be a rotting corpse. In my opinion, I’d rather. But there’s things that can’t be changed…”       That makes me think. Was i about to die when the boy came to me?                 

         Those words rattled through my head. In the water, freezing, gasping, not a thing I could do. I came down in hopes of finding a way into a docked ship me and Onto hoped to get on secretly. If we tried to get on without money, we would be sent to life in prison, and that would never end, and they’d all figure us out. But the boat had started, and I was pushed down. All of a sudden, arms wrapped around me. Don’t think it was Onto saving me, it definitely wasn’t. The arms were a sort of weak, small, unlike Onto’s. Was this person trying to save me, or kill me?! Even so, i was comfortable, and in the sake of drowning, i would trust anyone...   Feel free to comment. I need your opinions. Not to mention drop some ideas and notes.