Fun event: Master of creativity

Hey everyone, what's up! I promised to post something fun the day I created my "got into elite league" post, but unfortunately I was busy again afterward and hadn't been able to post it. (I also encountered some difficulties creating this) But anyway, here it is! This is a creativity challenge, which I'll state below. 

{Note: This is only for those with high proficiency in the Chinese language, generally with a few years of experience (or native speakers). If you aren't one of those, please just post your thoughts below.} 

So here's the challenge. A few months ago, on a hot afternoon, I was a bit bored of algorithms, having just mastered the two pointers. So I was kinda fiddling around in my PyCharm, randomly deleting useless comments and browsing libraries' source code. AI was (and still is) all the hype, and I decided to check it out. (Besides, my computer forced me to install a Bing chat thingy here on the taskbar:

lol comment below if you have that as well and if you hate it or not)

Ever since I first started learning Chinese back in 2020, and the first time I recited a Chinese poem in 2021, I fell in love with Chinese poems, especially old tang poems. Currently I can recite over 120 without difficulty, and around 200 to 240 that I partially remembered. I had even written some of my own poems 1 to 2 years ago, although looking back some of them are really bad ngl lol. 

Anyway, since I wanna try out AI, I decided to check out it's alleged ability to write poems on user command. Since I like Tang poems (and adding to the difficulty of my AI's task hehe), I asked Bing to create a "Old Tang poem with a war-based theme". I also instructed it to write in a specific format, what's called "七言詩", basically a fixed format where 7 Chinese characters, alternatively referred to as 7 syllabuses, compose every line, and have an even number of total lines (typically 8). Most common format would be a 7 by 8, thus 56-word poem. (For example, this: 李白 – 登金陵鳳凰臺 , it's one of my favorite tang poems, one of my favorite Li Bai poem, and a classic in general; I'll post about that poem and my interpretation later in another blog post). 

So, after inputting my instructions, I waited an exceptionally long wait of around 1 minute before Bing created the poem. And let's just say...the poem is not exactly what I expected and even less preferable. Here's the original AI poem¹:

Traditional Chinese version:

戰爭殘酷無情，

血染沙場，人去樓空。
戰爭如火，烽煙四起。
戰馬嘶鳴，刀槍交應。
兵器利器，誰是罪犯？
戰火紛飛，誰是英雄？
戰鼓擂動，號角長鳴。
士兵奮勇，不懼生死。
國家安危，全在此刻。
勝敗成敗，皆由天意。
和平盼望，永駐人間。

Simplified Chinese version:

战争残酷无情，

血染沙场，人去楼空。
战争如火，烽烟四起。
战马嘶鸣，刀枪交应。
兵器利器，谁是罪犯？
战火纷飞，谁是英雄？
战鼓擂动，号角长鸣。
士兵奋勇，不惧生死。
国家安危，全在此刻。
胜败成败，皆由天意。
和平盼望，永驻人间。

(most of the words are not so different, only 胜 and 动, maybe. I believe most fluent chinese speakers can read both with ease, but just in case, I provided both versions)

So now, that poem is pretty unsatisfactory to say the least. It also lacks a proper title and portray war in a non-artistic or poetic way (imo). Since AI failed the test, I gave myself a challenge to try to make it better, without changing any words, but swapping their places. I came up with a brilliant poem, and I only used the words included in the original poem, except for 4 characters. 

Now, challenge yourself to what I did as well! I promise, this will be really cool. The rules are simple:

1. You must stay on topic (war based poem, no romance or other non-war related poems please). 
2. You must write in Tang format, as specified above. 
3. You must use the words of the AI poem.
4. You are only allowed 5 more words other than those in the original AI poem. This is where it gets interesting and challenging lol.

No other rules, just that. Try your best, and comment down below! (btw think of a title as well, no restrictions on the title tho)

Thanks for participating and thanks for your support! 

¹: I edited it a bit bc there were some outrageously incorrect word choice and grammar, but most of it is original. I tried to change as little as possible, only those silly mistakes. 

(Note: This was originally written some 1 mo ago but I hadn't finished it. Things changed a bit after that, I'm posting this before I leave bc I put a lotta work into this so...hopefully everyone will enjoy it)