Empathy in Chess

• To be empathetic is to see the world through the eyes of others and not to see our world reflected in their eyes.

      - Rogers, Carl

Hey everyone, hope you are doing fine. If you aren´t, hope things improve soon.

How do you feel when you win a chess game? For most people, I believe they fell well. I, most of the time, do.

But, do you think about how your opponent feels?

I know I hate playing positions when we have something as King and Rook vs King and Rook only at the board, and, in time trouble, I offer a drawn to my opponent and he refuses and wins by flagging me.

Will not lie and say that I never did it, as I, myself, don´t recall (it´s possible to have happened in a day I was on tilt or still immature), but, when I think clearly, I would obviously accept it, because I don´t want the people from the other side of the board to feel this annoyance feeling of being flagged. Winning at all costs doesn´t really fit with me.

Joshua Waitzikin offering a draw (even when he realized he had a winning position, because, in the movie, he knows how much this games mattered for his opponent) - Movie: Searching for Bobby Fischer

Another thing, when you win a long streak of games against an opponent of similar rating, or something around, you should also consider that the person should be in a bad day, he/she could even have lost something or someone (especially now, that we are in a pandemic moment, this possibility arouses more).

Let´s go a bit more further. Is our opponent´s well when he keeps asking for a rematch after losing one game after another? Is his mental state ok?

Please, don´t take me wrong, it´s okay to “adopt” (when you win more than ten times in a row) someone, but, making a post of it, for example, can humiliate the person, and he/she, who could be living a bad day or moment in life, will be even sadder when seen this.

So, the word of the day is empathy.

What Empathy Consists?

Concept: “Psychologically, empathy is the ability of you to feel what another person feels if you were in the same situation experienced by them, that is: to try to objectively and rationally experience what the other feels in order to try to understand feelings and emotions.” (https://resultadosdigitais.com.br/blog/empatia/#:~:text=Psicologicamente%2C%20empatia%20%C3%A9%20a%20capacidade,tentar%20compreender%20sentimentos%20e%20emo%C3%A7%C3%B5es. – translated from Portuguese)

Another more poetic perspective: "See the light in the other. Be a light to each other. Try to see with the other's eyes, listen with the other's ears, and feel with the other's heart. We can only understand people when we can feel them, in ourselves. When we judge, we don't have time to love." - Tiago R. Rigre

So, in synthesis, you use empathy, when you see the other one´s perspective, as you see yours.                                                                  

Being Empathic Can Help Your Chess

Sometimes, in a chess game, we have to try to figure out our opponent's plan. “Hmm, why he/she did that move? What is his/her intention with it?

We, chess players, have more capacity to develop empathy and use it, because a lot of times we have to put ourselves in the opponent´s shoes while playing games.

Being empathic will brings a lot of benefits to your life, so you start comprehending people you live with and talk to regularly better, besides other ones too, and their point of view as well. Besides that, it can help your chess too, as it will be easier to figure out your opponent´s plans while playing.

Personal Journey

This post is something I really wanted to write, as I´m going into a little journey right now (some type of vacation) because of some personal problems, so, will be completely offline from all social media and cellphone in the next two weeks or one month (already asked for a vacation in daily games) =).

I wish you all the best, and, let´s try to practice empathy every day, not only in chess.

Best regards,

BKB 99 ("Hear me roar")