Leave 'em Laughin', NE over BB
(Beat Reporter: Mark LaRocca)
“Never trust atoms, they make up everything.”
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo… Coitenly, this round was a comedy of errors as Moe and Larry lost easily, Curly accepted fate, and a draw in probably a lost position, and Shemp blundered his way to a win. The Blitz are now (0.5 – 2.5) and winless on this Woo-ful season after a (1.5 – 2.5) drubbing by their cross town rivals, the New England Nor’easters.
So, what’s left… all us fans walk around chanting and beating our heads with prayer boards as the Blitz bury themselves, and the season, in ignominy. Who knows, maybe a vicious rabbit will put us out of our misery. (Those under 40 google Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
In the words of a wise man, whose initials are I.K., “We suck!!!”
“A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so, the bartender gave her one!” baroom…boom
Hey, these are the jokes… they don’t get any easier, unless your team is playing the Blitz.
Did I say you could leave? Oh, you think I’m being too tough on ‘em. Well, you just gotta’ see to believe. I guess it all started with Moe. A good guy really, just prone to slapping fits, and some pretty funny moves.
Hey Moe! “How do you make Holy Water? Boil the Hell out of it!”
Ha! Ha! Ha! Somebody slap me. Was that a corker, or what? Anyway, I was trying to impress our readers with the fact that comedy can be hurtful, and this one certainly was.
Boston (0 – 1)
The next act was dragged to the stage by his hair, whereupon, IM David Vigorito, pulled every last strand and sent Larry home hairless and humorless, alliteration, you gotta love it. But, seriously folks, this was a great game by Dave, and no shame to our first board. Sometimes, you just get your head handed to you in a basket, especially, by rabbits with long, pointy teeth. I’d just like to ask Larry one thing…
“If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?”
I don’t know about you, but, I didn’t see any chances that White really missed. Nice game Dave.
Boston (0 – 2)
Eeebee… bee… bee… bee… bee…bee… It was now up to Curly and Shemp, if someone could wake them up. As we all know, Curly’s no slouch and a tough out. But, after laughing his way through the first two acts, could he pull it together. Maybe there is a God… Maybe there are miracles… Maybe this team doesn’t actually smell as bad as they look… Naahhh!
Hey Curly, “What do you say to the guy who invented zero? Thanks for Nothin’!”
Well, Denys gave it the ol’ one, two, duck and shuffle and still came up empty. Seriously, he took so many chances, that in the end, he had no choice but to accept the draw and match loss. Credit IM Katz for a very under control, tough nut, type of game.
Boston (0.5 – 2.5)
Now Shemp had his guy on the ropes, dangling over the edge of a cliff on a shoestring. But, somehow, it’s never that easy. By the end of this one, the fans were ready to jump off the cliff and take both players with them.
“Hey, this guy using google maps walks into a bar… or maybe a hotel… or, possibly, a church…”
Now, wasn’t that special. (Church Lady, 1980’s) Boston (1.5 – 2.5)
Ay, yai, yai, yai, call me the Frito Bandito. I want Frito’s corn chips, I love them I do. Uh, Sorry, my mind went to Bermuda for a moment (credit Steve Martin, early years). But, you can forgive me, can’t you. After all, I watched all this with my very own eyes.
So, it’s onward and… no… not there. But, maybe, just maybe we can salvage some pride here. What’dya think guys? Can we do it? Can we leave ‘em laughin’?
“What’s the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup? Anyone can Roast Beef?”