How a 700 elo beat Magnus Carlsen

“The Pawn Who Became King”

No one expected greatness from Jeremy Pickles. A 34-year-old janitor from Omaha, Nebraska, with a Chess.com rating of 703, Jeremy was known more for spilling mop water than opening theory. He had discovered chess only three months prior, inspired by a viral video of a cat checkmating with a queen sacrifice.

But on a rainy Thursday afternoon, fate decided to play a different game.

Magnus Carlsen, the undisputed world champion, was doing a livestream event — “Hand and Brain: Beat Magnus for Charity.” Most players were titled, witty, sharp. Jeremy entered the Zoom call by mistake, thinking it was an online poker night hosted by his cousin.

“Who’s PickleMaster89?” Magnus asked, amused.

“Uh… that’s me,” Jeremy said, slurping a Capri Sun.

The game began.

Jeremy opened with 1. h4.

Magnus grinned. “A man of culture.”

What followed was the most inexplicable game in the history of chess.

Jeremy played moves no grandmaster would ever consider. He hung a bishop on move 4. Sacrificed his queen on move 11. Walked his king into the center on move 18… and yet, Magnus began to sweat.

By move 23, Magnus looked utterly lost.

“I don’t understand… none of this makes sense,” he muttered. His chat exploded.

Jeremy, munching on Doritos, accidentally pre-moved a knight retreat that forked Magnus’s rook and queen. Then, a miracle: Magnus blundered mate-in-one, thinking he was still up a queen.

“Checkmate?” Jeremy said hesitantly, clicking the screen.

Silence.

Then Magnus laughed. “I just got beaten by a 700-rated janitor named PickleMaster.”

The internet exploded. Within hours, Jeremy was on ESPN, Twitch, and a cereal box. Analysts dubbed his style “Quantum Chess” — moves so unpredictable they transcended logic.

When asked for his strategy, Jeremy simply shrugged:

“I just moved the horsey where it looked cool.”