I'm Faster (and Therefore Better) at Puzzles Than YOU.

Every now and then I post puzzles from books on Twitter (I refuse to call it 'X'). What surprised me at first (but no longer does) is how -- darn near to a person -- all anybody wants to do is tell me how fast (or how much faster than me) they were able to solve it.

"Took me 15 seconds!" someone will say.

"I did it in 10 seconds!" someone else will say.

This is usually after I admit that I spent like 6 minutes on it, struggled, got several attempts wrong, and then finally figured it out.

"Not sure why you struggled with it. This was so easy. Qxe8+ is the ONLY move"

You know what else is the only move, motherf****? You eating a fat... 

**ahem**

...be kind, Omar...be kind...you love Jesus...don't reply in anger...wooooosahhhh...

What is it about saying how quickly we can solve a puzzle (or how easy a puzzle is) that is so appealing?

I started working on positional calculations as part of my daily training. I'll set up a position on a physical board and then spend a good 20-45 minutes just looking over the position. I'll explore what each side wants to do, jot down the ideas, and then attempt to solve the position. The books I have been using most recently for this are Sam Shankland's, "Grandmaster Training Camp #1, Calculation!", and "Combinative Motifs", by Maxim Blokh.

When I post the puzzle online to see how others might enjoy it, there are always a handful of people who want to show off, and boost themselves up by belittling the puzzle (and by proxy, me).

Mind you, I could just be taking it personally, too -- I need to own that as a possibility. Someone expressing how quickly they can solve a puzzle -- or how obvious a puzzle is -- might be triggering my own comparison trappish, imposter syndromishness responses.

I might just be butt hurt and in my feelings...

That doesn't serve my narrative, though, LOL -- so I will continue assuming these people are jerks, LOL.

No, in all seriousness, I do think that they do have a point. Pattern recognition, and the speed by which one can do that, does matter. Heck, Chess.com shows you the target solve time after you complete a puzzle (in the summary) and has a damn clock in the upper right telling you overtly how slow you are. Can I really be mad at people who are fast, when this just seems embedded in chess culture as a whole?

Chess sort of invites comparison, doesn't it? It's competitive and brutal, so to at least some degree I need to get over my sensitivities here and calcify my mind. 

I told a friend of mine a few months ago that I couldn't wait to not suck at chess anymore, lol. Might be a while before I can say that, but what triggers that emotion is the comparison trap.

What really bothers me about someone boasting about how fast they can solve a puzzle is that I cannot solve it faster than them, so it is easier to make them villains than it is to simply get faster myself.

What really bothers me about someone belittling my puzzle for its apparent ease is that I found it to be extremely difficult, and I don't like that their assertion makes me feel stupid.

Around 14 months ago I went off on Twitter about "Unsolicited Advice". Got into it with a few people -- blocking several of them -- who were critical of me. I went on the Chess Feels podcast to talk about it. What I realized when I was speaking to Julia and JJ about it was -- I wasn't upset about the advice, I was upset that I suck at chess and still need the advice.

The truth is, if I was faster at solving puzzles I wouldn't care how fast you solved them -- because I would be...faster than you.

The truth is, if I was more strategic and stronger in the middlegame, I wouldn't care about your opinion of the puzzles I posted, because I would be more strategic...than you.

The real asshole is...me. Shit. (Alexa, play "Antihero" by Taylor Swift)

Note to Self: Stop comparing yourself to other people. Your journey is YOUR journey, Omar -- no one else's. It doesn't matter that they're faster than you, just keep working. It doesn't matter that they think your puzzles are easy. Ease is relative to the person making the attempt. You have one job: Improve. Make better mistakes today than you did yesterday. And when you reach the point where you no longer suck at chess (which, if I am being honest, you'll probably always think you're terrible at it), be kinder to others who are not where you are, than how some others are currently treating you.