Summing up My Denker Experience
So... what of it? What is the final analysis?
I'll use the Q&A format.
First, for those who don't know the story, let's look at a preliminary question.
Q. How did I even get here?
A. It all started on March 19th, with the Alabama Scholastic State Chess Championship. In the high school section, I was the 7th seed in a field of 14. In other words, I was a 1422 in an 1849-top field. The whole story can't be printed here in full, but the short version, for those who've never heard, is that I won all 4 of the G/45;d5 games. Three of those games ended with my time at 11 seconds or fewer. The final round saw me winning with 4 seconds left. That day was a 'miracle' day. I didn't win that 4th game (against an 1842) because of my overwhelming chess powers. I was losing it. Objectively. But he couldn't finish me off; maybe the pressure got to him. Whatever the case, at the end of the day, I had pulled off a huge upset. And I thank the Lord for it.
Then we had to make the decision to come to the Denker. Would I be able to do what was required? "Yes," we decided. And what a decision. Immediately, I started counting the days.
"101 days left."
"Oh, now 100."
"Oh look, I miscounted — there are actually 98." Et cetera.
All this time, I had a considerable schoolwork and firefighter training workload. You see, I am homeschooled, and I'm graduating in December. So I'm still in school! Unlike the other Denker-bound players (I'm assuming), I did not have the whole summer to prepare; I was really busy with other things. (That's a big reason why I couldn't play all those 90|30's, Mr. Barber!)
So we fast-forward to July 3. That's when I started this blog. So between then and now, I've discussed most of what there is to be discussed.
But what now? "What of it?", I repeat.
Q. What of it? What are the key take-aways? What's important? Could you have done better? If so, how?
A. How could it have gone better? Well first, I'll say that, during the tournament, I had to deal with tough circumstances. Circumstances like little food intake ("Chess-players don't eat." — Grandmaster Timur Gareev); little sleep; back discomfort; and, worst of all, worry — not worry about chess. It was deeper. And yeah, also, my concentration level was low. My "thought saturation" (if you know what I mean) might have been, oh, about 40% maybe? Hard to say.
Anyhow, the hugest problem was my time usage! Here's a telling example: in my last game, the one with Arkansas (Hi, Steven!), there was, as I said in a previous post, a 70 minute to 10 minute time advantage for my opponent. Reread that. That means he could have thought for a whole HOUR before even being equal with me again. How did it come to this, you ask? Simple: I got my game going, but after that, I didn't know what to do. I was uncertain, uncommitted. I wanted to do the correct thing, but I didn't know what it was. So I did nothing.
Switching gears a little, I'll talk about positive take-aways. First, in game 4, I was able to obtain a winning advantage vs. an expert. Again, because I didn't know how to finish, I ended up yielding the ghost in that contest. But still, I won half the battle. I got there. After the game, my opponent said that he had underestimated my attack. Later, I actually heard that our game was tracking with Stockfish for a while, which was an uncommon encouragement.
So I know I'm capable of obtaining good attacks. I just need to be able to finish them.
Another good thing from the tournament was the friendships I developed. I'm happy to say that I got to talk with and meet many people there. People such as Dewain Barber, GM Timur Gareev, NM Gunnar Andersen, and many more. I wanted to meet Jean Hoffman, but I barely missed her. And then there were all the other players I met. I was starting to become familiar with the others near the bottom of the Denker standings (because we sat near each other on the low boards.)
Zooming out, I'll repeat that this was my first out-of-state tournament. And I'd never played in a contest with time controls this long. Also, half my opponents were rated over 2000. It was great to get to face high ratings like these. (In fact, I set a new personal record for the highest non-provisional rating that I've faced. It was NM Andersen, a pre-event 2247.)
Q. What's next?
A. 550 miles. Six rounds. One win. Five losses. New friends. 550 more miles. And then some.
It's been a lot. For a lot of people. But what about me? Where do I go from here?
Well, for the 87th time, I'm a high-school senior. But I haven't graduated yet. That's supposed to come in December (145 days!). What does this mean? Well, the Denker took a portion out of my year. And that's not a bad thing. But I must now pick up school and run with it, so chess needs to leave my front-and-center for a while. I might still make it to a tournament or three over the next five months, but on the whole, I need to take a bit of a break from it. Rebuild and return.
Ah, but what about 2017? That's another story. The hard fact is that, Lord willing, I'll have graduated, so I won't be going back to the Denker. This was my first and last year. It carries a twinge of sadness.
(Let me pause here to say that it's tempting to sullenly pout and be grumpy that my only Denker/Barber went the way it did. But I'm sorry, self — there is zero room for that. There were other high-school seniors [whom I beat], from Alabama, that didn't get to go at all. AT ALL. So I'm very blessed to have played in the Denker.)
Because I'm not going back, the next step must then be something other than another Scholastic Championship + Denker combo. I'm just not sure what's next. I'll have to keep improving. Win the local tournaments. And maybe, someday, I'll be able to get back to a national event.
Maybe I missed something that I wanted to cover. There's probably more I could say, so if any of you readers have any specific questions, just put a comment below, and I might be able to get to it. But that's all for now!
To the future,
—Jay-El Shepherd, II
