Short, Shiny Pawns to the Centre Please

"Fortunately, ........ Fortunately I say, ......... I keep all my pawns numbered for just such an emergency!" (Foghorn Leghorn ... if he were a chess player)

The bishops have never been a problem .... one stays on black one stays on white .... and we know where they came from .... one king side, one queen side.

The knights and the rooks however ..... Staunton figured that one out... he stamped a crown emblem on the king side pieces .... an innovation at the time..... no longer in use......

What about the pawns? How is an "Octo-Mom" or "-Dad" to keep them all sorted out ..... sure they march down their own files , but they sometimes wander off!

Why not mark all the pawns .....discreet little markings to indicate who is the queen pawn or who is the kings bishops pawn?

Sure it would take longer to set up the board and could a penalty be called if it were found to be set up incorrectly?

A statistical analysis would tell us that the king and queen pawns are the most moved pawns ...... after millions of moves, captures, and overall handling ....these pawns may be worn down more, felt flattened more, and polished up by greasy little fingers more than their pawn peers.

Those pawns in the centre are shorter and shinier.