Checkmate at Midnight!

Apr 28, 2012, 9:02 PM |

The following is a partial (just the chessy bits) transcript of the 1965 "Get Smart" Episode " Smart the Assasin";

(( Car Trivia ..... Max drives a Sunbeam Tiger in the opening title sequence ....... in later seasons he switches to a Karmann Ghia after Volkswagen becomes a sponsor.))

Chief: Your move Max.

Max:   Chief, when was the last time I beat you at chess?

Chief: You've never beat me at chess Max.

Max:   That long ago eh? Well that situation is about to be remedied. You've walked into a very cleverly laid trap Chief. Now watch carefully. I'm about to execute a fantastic maneuver. After this move the game will be over.

..... Max moves. Chief moves......

Chief: Checkmate!

Max: Just as I predicted, the game is over.

Max: Actually that wasn't the move I had in mind, this time I'm going to .....


......later Max is captured by KAOS and is given a brainwashing Pill .....

Devonshire: You will play chess this evening, as usual, with the chief of CONTROL at the Regency Club.

Max (in a trance): I will play chess this evening, as usual, with the chief of CONTROL at the Regency Club.

Devonshire: The Chief will win as usual. When he wins he will utter the word checkmate. Checkmate is your command word.

Max (in a trance): Checkmate is my command word.

Devonshire: When you hear the word checkmate you will draw your revolver, take careful aim and shoot to kill.

Max (in a trance): When I hear the word checkmate I will draw my revolver, take careful aim and shoot to kill.

Devonshire: Gentlemen, It is now high noon, the effectiveness of the pill will last for exactly 12 hours, until midnight, when Smart and the chief begin their chess game between 7 and 8 tonight it will give us more than enough time.

KAOS Agent: But Devonshire, what if Smart wins the chess game?

Devonshire: Have you ever seen Maxwell Smart play chess?!

...... Laughter ......

.......later that night .....

Chief: Are you ready Max?

Max: Not quite Chief.

Chief: Oh, I've been wondering what you've had in that package.

Max: Now after the last time you beat me I decided to take positive action.(holds up book)

Chief (reads): How to play chess in six easy lessons!

Max: Yes. Written by an 8 year old champion. And so simple even a child can understand it.

Chief: Your move Max.

Max: Don't rush me Chief.(reads) Chess is a very easy game to learn. In this book you will find all you need to know to play, to enjoy the game, and to hold your own against other friends who play chess.

...time passes, Max reads....

Chief: Still your move Max

..... Max moves ......

Chief: Congratulations. Its only been 45 minutes and already you've made your first move.

Max: I was not aware Sir, that speedy play was instrumental in the final decision of the game of chess.

Chief: It isn't 86, the only thing that concerns me is that I'm not a young man.

.....chief moves....

Chief: Your move.

..... time passes ....

Chief: Its your move Max.

Max: What's the matter Chief? Worried? Afraid I'm going to win my first game?

Chief: No. I'm afraid this is going to be my last game.

......time passes .....

Max: Here's an interesting chapter Chief, "How to wear down your Opponent"

... time passes .... almost Midnight.....

Chief: We could finish the game by mail.

Max: Do you mind Chief?

.....impatient Devonshire whispers to Max .....

Max: Please Devonshire, this is one game I'd like to win without any help.

Chief: It's perfectly allright Max. Get all the help that you can.

Max: Ah ha! Just as I thought. After this move you'll be in a trap from which you'll be unable to extricate yourself.

Chief: Good when you say that I always know that I'm about to win.

... Max moves.....

....Chief moving....

Chief: Thank you Max, that's ...

Devonshire: Checkmate!

....Max shoots....

Chief: You shot Devonshire! What for!?

Max: I don't know Chief. But believe me, I better have a darn good reason.

 ...... the following day, after everything has been explained.....

Max: ........ say Chief, I got a good idea, why don't we play a little game of Chinese Checkers just to unwind?

Chief: Fine, any game at all so long as it doesn't end with the word Checkmate!

.... Max Shoots .....

Chief: Max!!

....... Chief dives under desk just in time ....

Max: Uh, sorry about that chief ... uh, there's nothing harder to shake than a bad habit.